What do you like best about working at JBI?

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Tonight as I was standing in the bathroom looking at myself in the mirror, getting my hair just right and looking pretty damned good-looking for the beautiful woman I was going to be meeting for the evening, a thought struck me: Life is good. Life is great! As I ran my fingers through my hair and flashed my killer smile, I said: Dude, you could be Fabs right now! How bad would THAT be! Because you know that the hot babe I was heading off to spend the night with wouldn't give a guy like that a second glance. RBD? She'd laugh at that one. "What's it stand for? Real Bald Dork?"

Poor guy. Another one who lost his hair along with his dignity. But that's what you get when you love yourself. It's called Karma baby.
 




anonymous said:
Tonight as I was standing in the bathroom looking at myself in the mirror, getting my hair just right and looking pretty damned good-looking for the beautiful woman I was going to be meeting for the evening, a thought struck me: Life is good. Life is great! As I ran my fingers through my hair and flashed my killer smile, I said: Dude, you could be Fabs right now! How bad would THAT be! Because you know that the hot babe I was heading off to spend the night with wouldn't give a guy like that a second glance. RBD? She'd laugh at that one. "What's it stand for? Real Bald Dork?"

Poor guy. Another one who lost his hair along with his dignity. But that's what you get when you love yourself. It's called Karma baby.
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Go ahead and laugh Mister Smarty Pants, but you should know that most of us women here at JBI couldn't care less if you were handsome or built like a Greek god. We go for men with power, men who with one word can change the course of business and the world, men who are so confident of their power in a position such as DM or RBD or NSD that they just ooze sexiness. We don't care if they are bald or chubby or even have manboobs. Most of our husbands are worse than that anyway. No, the power that a man like the one you are making fun of would have even a top super model or actress swooning. When that "Real Bald Dork" as you call him takes the stage at a meeting, our female hearts skip a beat. THAT's A REAL MAN!
 




Fabs is sweating right now. He claims to have assembled the best sales team in the world, but that team has consistently lost out to Humira. The problem is that Fabs assesses his team against himself and his own sales abilities, and so EVERYONE looks better than they really are. Come on Fabs, you can't even close the deal on all that "talent" that you like to drool over. Only a real player can do that.
Humira is going off patent next year, and then you're really sunk Fabs. You've already been revealed to be an ineffective leader, but next year is worse.
Hang on to your skirt, Fabsy, because the ride will be rough!
 








anonymous said:
Who is Fabs?
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He's a national sales director at JBI. Kind of the butt of a lot of jokes by the field sales force. Worked over at Janssen during the Risperdal scandal. Thinks he's intelligent but gets played to the max. One of my male friends tells me that he likes to call attractive new reps "the talent." We females call him "The Bald Guy." Sometimes I think baldness is a form of karma for men who are jerks.
 




Some would disagree. DF is the real brains behind operations, and is one of the major reasons why this company finally conquered the market with Remicade over Humira. We don't call him "Fabs" for nothing.
 




If I was to be writing a book about this industry and some of the real dumb characters in it, I wouldn't have to go far. I think of a guy like Fabs. Anyone reading about a clown like this would say, "No way. There's no way somebody like this is real." I know because I have been hanging out with non-industry friends and I tell them about guys like Fabs, Marano, Marti, and the rest of them and even through my friends are laughing so hard that their drinks come out their noses, they say, "Stop making this stuff up. NOBODY like that would ever exist is corporate America."
Wrong. Very wrong. I tell them how I once saw Marti walking through the halls with a grimace on her face with her water boys scurrying behind her like little dogs. I told them how I was talking to Fabs at a meeting once but his eyes were transfixed on the backside of a new young dermatology rep. "Yeah, whatever," he said to me without turning his eyes off her. "Why don't you put it in an email and I'll read it after the meeting." Then he walked away from me and over to her and said, "Allow me to introduce myself. I run the show around here."
She looked him up and down but you can tell she was unimpressed. "That's good for you," she said icily, and then looked over at me, where I was still standing near the coffee table. "You know, I think I'd like some coffee," she said, and walked away, leaving the director quiet and slack-jawed. "Hi," she said to me with a big smile. "My name is ______. I've been admiring that great shirt you're wearing. You must work out."
The rest is history, and it remains with me and the beautiful rep with the sweet little tattoo just below her bikini line. That's how real men handle such things. Men with…"talent."
 




That's pretty accurate but another way to describe him is as Marti's clown sidekick. Every character has to have a dumb sidekick who people can laugh at. Fabs is perfect at this. We love it when he takes the stage at a meeting, because we know that the only reason Marti has him is for coming relief. Smart leaders never let anyone else who is smart too close to them because they fear the other person taking their job. Fabs being the big dummy makes Marti feel superior and secure.
 




NOTE: The story below in no way reflects, resembles, refers to or suggests any real, true life characters. They are purely fictional.

He called me into his office. He was the national sales director, went by the nickname "Fibs." Had me sit down opposite him. I watched the florescent lights dance on his forehead. I had to squint my eyes in order to see him.
"Got an assignment for you, kid. And you must accept it."
"Is it a promotion?"
"Uh, yes. It's a sideways promotion. And a little downways too. Yes, it's what we in senior management like to call "a downwards promotion."
"Well, my manager told me it was company policy to take the smartest most successful reps and harass and demote them. My numbers have been great for a while now and I'm a loyal hardworking employee with not a blemish on my work record. So I guess I was due for this."
Fibs leaned back in his chair and laughed. "Ha ha…you said 'doo.' Like in 'dog doo doo.' And that's what you stepped in." As he laughed, the corners of his mouth hinged with strings of spit. His breath and the dog crap smell made a nauseating cocktail.
I looked at my shoes and shook my head. "I'm clean, Fibs."
"Oh, boy, that must have been me again," he said, leaning over to inspect his shoe. "Phew, stinky," he said. "I must have done that while walking Marci's dogs this morning. She usually has me walk them in my office. They seem to like the carpet in there. Marci was his boss, our "Vice President in Charge of Bossing Us." Yes, that was actually her title. She loved to boss all right, but there was one person she especially liked to use as her personal handmaiden.
Fibs. He was her dog walker, luggage valet, driver, coffee getter, bunion massager…you get it. And he did it with a big dumb smile, proud of the fact that of all the men in the company, he got to take water bottles along in the little golf cart to give Marci while she jogged, and got to lay his body across muddy puddles as her dogs marched across.
But the times were changing. Fibs had had enough. And in order to change things, to fix them, he needed one thing.
Me.

To be continued.
 








anonymous said:
What I love most about this place is no one works on Fridays! The manager's are allowed to legally be "off" and the reps do the same thing but no one catches on.[/QUOTE

Monday's too! Twenty hour a week job at most. I'm at the gym more than at my accounts. Thanks Marti for the work- family balance. Ha ha ha ha ha!
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Is everyone ready for out next Lesson on the "FUR Strategy System?"Remember, FUR stands for "Flying Under the Radar," and it will be rolled out at POA I, so make sure you pay attention.

Lesson #4 Tanking the Year while Taking off November and December (or earlier if you want.)
Every year, when you see that your numbers are not going anywhere, mostly because you didn't work much the summer anyway, you decide that it's not worth your time and energy to "sell" during the November and December timeframe. So you just drive around, maybe make some social calls, have end of the year "strategy sessions" with your territory teammates, fake calls, and etc., while you make sure you get your Holiday shopping done. You also expense expensive pastries and stuff with extra that you can bring home.
There's always next year, right? Although you honestly know you're not doing to work much harder then, either. One of the great thing about being in biotech is that you don't have samples so it's really easy to fake calls.

So now that you know this aspect of "FUR," get out there and don't work! LOL
 




anonymous said:
That's pretty accurate but another way to describe him is as Marti's clown sidekick. Every character has to have a dumb sidekick who people can laugh at. Fabs is perfect at this. We love it when he takes the stage at a meeting, because we know that the only reason Marti has him is for coming relief. Smart leaders never let anyone else who is smart too close to them because they fear the other person taking their job. Fabs being the big dummy makes Marti feel superior and secure.
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You're finally about to get your wish. Soon we won't have Fabs to kick around any more-soon moved into a new assignment--completely stripped of his dignity by Marti. But she'll still be in charge, and wait until you see 'what' she puts there instead.
 








anonymous said:
You're finally about to get your wish. Soon we won't have Fabs to kick around any more-soon moved into a new assignment--completely stripped of his dignity by Marti. But she'll still be in charge, and wait until you see 'what' she puts there instead.
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The word is Ed G from the Northeast is about to become our NSD. My friend is super tied in and he told me you can bet on it.
 












anonymous said:
Is everyone ready for out next Lesson on the "FUR Strategy System?"Remember, FUR stands for "Flying Under the Radar," and it will be rolled out at POA I, so make sure you pay attention.

Lesson #4 Tanking the Year while Taking off November and December (or earlier if you want.)
Every year, when you see that your numbers are not going anywhere, mostly because you didn't work much the summer anyway, you decide that it's not worth your time and energy to "sell" during the November and December timeframe. So you just drive around, maybe make some social calls, have end of the year "strategy sessions" with your territory teammates, fake calls, and etc., while you make sure you get your Holiday shopping done. You also expense expensive pastries and stuff with extra that you can bring home.
There's always next year, right? Although you honestly know you're not doing to work much harder then, either. One of the great thing about being in biotech is that you don't have samples so it's really easy to fake calls.

So now that you know this aspect of "FUR," get out there and don't work! LOL
Click to expand...

So true, and "management" knows it and supports it. After all, if you cut the sales forces down to what is really needed based on today's access, you'd need a lot less of these "leaders". Faked calls are the norm. 20-hour workweeks common.
 












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