Stryker

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anonymous said:
Working as a Rep with a comp plan at Endo can be challenging. Relax, the whole
industry is changing. IMHO. It's all about controlling their costs and maximizing profits so the analysts are impressed with their earnings. It's not personal.

That is why the potential merger is all about reducing costs. Close two buildings or corporate headquarters and they are rock stars to wall street. Wake up, your not that important in the big picture.
Click to expand...
Challenging? How about more like an insult! Tired of hearing about a potential acquisition.
 






anonymous said:
The reason there is so much discussion going on is not because of a rep talking about it on the Stryker board. It's because of the number of articles that have been written over the last couple of weeks in financial publications about the possibility of a pending deal coming early in 2016. Some of the articles are listed earlier in this thread.
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And who do you think starts all the chatter about the potential acquisition? I can assure you it's not anyone at Stryker?
 




































Night Before the Buyout

‘Twas the night before the buyout, and all through the halls
Every mid-level manager was worried, it was shrinking his balls!
The exec stock options were surging per share,
But most knew no job would soon be there.

The low level employees were nestled all snug in their cubes,
With no idea their jobs were toast, what clueless rubes.
And Frenchy and Fraggle now counting their millions,
Couldn’t give two shits what happened to their minions.

When out in board room there arose such a clatter,
Execs sprang from leather chairs to see what was the matter.
Away to the wet bar they flew like a flash,
Tore open the single-malt Scotch and proceeded to get smashed.

What a brash young exec, so lively and quick,
I knew in a moment it must be that Stryker dick.
More rapid than eagles his acquisitions they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name!

"Now MAKO! now, PST! now, Pivot and SBI!
On, Berchtold! On, Muka!, on Smith and Nephew!
To the bottom line! More executive comp for me!
Now down size! Down size! Down size all!"

As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,
When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky.
So up in smoke did all the jobs go,
Thanks to that douchebag name Lobo.

He was dressed Armani, from his head to his feet,
As if sent from central casting to pull off this deceit.
A bundle of pink slips he had flung on his back,
And he looked like a sociopath, as he opened his pack.

His eyes-how they twinkled! His cuff links how merry!
He must of doing coke, his nose was red as a cherry!
His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
In fact on his nose there was still signs of snow.

He spoke lots of empty words, about how this union would work,
As he filled his pockets with money, boy what a jerk.
And laying his finger aside of his nose,
He snorted one more line, up the chimney he rose!

He sprang to his Bentley, and leaned on the horn,
And away he flew off in search of beast porn.
But I heard him exclaim, ‘ere he drove out of sight,
"Pack up your one box, you are fired as of tonight!"
 






anonymous said:
Night Before the Buyout

‘Twas the night before the buyout, and all through the halls
Every mid-level manager was worried, it was shrinking his balls!
The exec stock options were surging per share,
But most knew no job would soon be there.

The low level employees were nestled all snug in their cubes,
With no idea their jobs were toast, what clueless rubes.
And Frenchy and Fraggle now counting their millions,
Couldn’t give two shits what happened to their minions.

When out in board room there arose such a clatter,
Execs sprang from leather chairs to see what was the matter.
Away to the wet bar they flew like a flash,
Tore open the single-malt Scotch and proceeded to get smashed.

What a brash young exec, so lively and quick,
I knew in a moment it must be that Stryker dick.
More rapid than eagles his acquisitions they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name!

"Now MAKO! now, PST! now, Pivot and SBI!
On, Berchtold! On, Muka!, on Smith and Nephew!
To the bottom line! More executive comp for me!
Now down size! Down size! Down size all!"

As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,
When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky.
So up in smoke did all the jobs go,
Thanks to that douchebag name Lobo.

He was dressed Armani, from his head to his feet,
As if sent from central casting to pull off this deceit.
A bundle of pink slips he had flung on his back,
And he looked like a sociopath, as he opened his pack.

His eyes-how they twinkled! His cuff links how merry!
He must of doing coke, his nose was red as a cherry!
His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
In fact on his nose there was still signs of snow.

He spoke lots of empty words, about how this union would work,
As he filled his pockets with money, boy what a jerk.
And laying his finger aside of his nose,
He snorted one more line, up the chimney he rose!

He sprang to his Bentley, and leaned on the horn,
And away he flew off in search of beast porn.
But I heard him exclaim, ‘ere he drove out of sight,
"Pack up your one box, you are fired as of tonight!"
Click to expand...

This is the best thing I've ever read. You have made my week great again.
 






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