Stryker

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Night Before the Buyout

‘Twas the night before the buyout, and all through the halls
Every mid-level manager was worried, it was shrinking his balls!
The exec stock options were surging per share,
But most knew no job would soon be there.

The low level employees were nestled all snug in their cubes,
With no idea their jobs were toast, what clueless rubes.
And Frenchy and Fraggle now counting their millions,
Couldn’t give two shits what happened to their minions.

When out in board room there arose such a clatter,
Execs sprang from leather chairs to see what was the matter.
Away to the wet bar they flew like a flash,
Tore open the single-malt Scotch and proceeded to get smashed.

What a brash young exec, so lively and quick,
I knew in a moment it must be that Stryker dick.
More rapid than eagles his acquisitions they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name!

"Now MAKO! now, PST! now, Pivot and SBI!
On, Berchtold! On, Muka!, on Smith and Nephew!
To the bottom line! More executive comp for me!
Now down size! Down size! Down size all!"

As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,
When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky.
So up in smoke did all the jobs go,
Thanks to that douchebag name Lobo.

He was dressed Armani, from his head to his feet,
As if sent from central casting to pull off this deceit.
A bundle of pink slips he had flung on his back,
And he looked like a sociopath, as he opened his pack.

His eyes-how they twinkled! His cuff links how merry!
He must of doing coke, his nose was red as a cherry!
His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
In fact on his nose there was still signs of snow.

He spoke lots of empty words, about how this union would work,
As he filled his pockets with money, boy what a jerk.
And laying his finger aside of his nose,
He snorted one more line, up the chimney he rose!

He sprang to his Bentley, and leaned on the horn,
And away he flew off in search of beast porn.
But I heard him exclaim, ‘ere he drove out of sight,
"Pack up your one box, you are fired as of tonight!"
 



anonymous said:
Why would you believe any of this buyout talk? Haven't we seen this before? Someone says X company is going to buy us and all it does is send the salesforce into a tizzy. It never comes to fruition. Never.
But what it does it drive up the stock price in London (of course we have absolutely no stock so we don't reap any reward), which is what they're all hoping for. SNN got a little stagnant and this will make the shareholders happy right before the holidays. This happened with Stryker now, what? 3 times in the last 3 years? J&J was thrown in there too and I'm sure I'm missing someone else.
Point is, worry about it when it happens, unless of course you have some stock.
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What about Medtronic? Wants to enter Ortho. Lot's of money. Covidien strong wound care company now part of Medtronic. Second largest health care company to JnJ.
 









anonymous said:
What about Medtronic? Wants to enter Ortho. Lot's of money. Covidien strong wound care company now part of Medtronic. Second largest health care company to JnJ.
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This deal was reported to be considered in 2014. Just Google "Medtronic and Smith and Nephew" Lot's of articles. But after Medtronic bought Covidien is it still feasible??????????
 






You can shit in one hand and wish in another. At this point if SN doesn't get bought we are shitting in both our hands. Medtronic would be idiots to get into total joint game with prices going rock bottom. When 4 spine screws cost the same as an entire total knee why would you want in? Stryker is the only player in this game, they need SN for Europe and the fact every other company has bought a middle level company except Stryker, SN is the only profitable one left for them. The books are as cooked as possible, SN is just that dirty little slut playing hard to get when you know we put out on the first night.
 



anonymous said:
SN is just that dirty little slut playing hard to get when you know we put out on the first night.
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That's what frenchy was brought in for. Put lipstick on this pig and sell it. Wound is the hold up, trying to get market share back to boost the price more showing growth. If not for that we would be Stryker allready.
 



Used to work at ArthroCare before Smith & Nephew bought them and fired all my buddies. Now I work for Stryker.

Karma - its a thing of beauty.

Let's see how many SN reps can pass the Gallup!
 



anonymous said:
Used to work at ArthroCare before Smith & Nephew bought them and fired all my buddies. Now I work for Stryker.

Karma - its a thing of beauty.

Let's see how many SN reps can pass the Gallup!
Click to expand...
What about Medtronic? They are 3 times the size of Stryker, and have a lot more money, Hell, they might buy Stryker. Plus, they would want the Wound Care. Google up Covidien Wound Care products and you"ll see why.
 



anonymous said:
Used to work at ArthroCare before Smith & Nephew bought them and fired all my buddies. Now I work for Stryker.

Karma - its a thing of beauty.

Let's see how many SN reps can pass the Gallup!
Click to expand...

We have Stryker giving us offers at least once a year to convert and make the switch. They are even willing to pay during the non compete time out.... If you think we have to take the Gallup you are for sure still a rookie, that's why SN got rid of you when we merged with arthrocare. You had a tiny amount of business and were not seen as a threat in losing the business you had. Stryker is not willing to lose the business most SN reps have with their surgeons, if anything you will have to split a territory or you will be let go again. When you have companies offering you contracts for your business then you chirp up, until then stay in the kiddie pool with the rest of your friends.
 



anonymous said:
What about Medtronic? They are 3 times the size of Stryker, and have a lot more money, Hell, they might buy Stryker. Plus, they would want the Wound Care. Google up Covidien Wound Care products and you"ll see why.
Click to expand...

Medtronic WILL NOT over pay. Bottom line. SN wants a premium, will not accept any attempt from Medtronic. This is a one pony show and Stryker is the only one at the rodeo willing to pay up.
 



anonymous said:
Medtronic WILL NOT over pay. Bottom line. SN wants a premium, will not accept any attempt from Medtronic. This is a one pony show and Stryker is the only one at the rodeo willing to pay up.
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Well, if Stryker is so willing to "pay up" why havn't they done so? $20 billion for SNN is 15x EBITDA, which is not dramatically overpaying for SNN by Medtronic. They are already sitting on $12plus billion in cash, and their generating unbelievable amounts of cash every quarter. Stryker can't do that, not even close. Stryker is a small time player in comparison to Medtronic. Again, I wouldn't be surprised if Medtronic buys Stryker.
 









anonymous said:
If we are sold, the only company with a compelling reason to buy us is SYK. MDT isn't buying the fourth biggest company in the sector.
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If there is going to be a deal, comparing the financial ability of Medtronic vs. Stryker to do the deal, or compete against each other to be the chosan company, is like comparing Manchester United (Medtronic) to the Tranvere Rovers (Stryker).
 



Go ask Goldman Sachs why Medtronic isn't going to happen as they have done the work. They are working (again) with Stryker on the numbers and a proposal for a deal to be made. For Stryker to play ball and ever move up they know they need SN. It's just a matter of time.
 



anonymous said:
Go ask Goldman Sachs why Medtronic isn't going to happen as they have done the work. They are working (again) with Stryker on the numbers and a proposal for a deal to be made. For Stryker to play ball and ever move up they know they need SN. It's just a matter of time.[/QUOTE
I just called Goldman and there out for the Holidays (Just kidding, and I hope you were suggesting Goldman would tell someone anything)) Anyways, if Stryker has any interest, they better hope Medtronic hasn't any interest (I have not seen anything about Medtronic denying interest), because Stryker isn't competing against Mighty Medtronic if they want to increase their Ortho and Wound Care presence.
Click to expand...
 




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