Reimagining Medicine (Novartis Style)"
(To the tune of "Single Ladies")
Chorus:
All the pharma folks, all the pharma folks,
All the pharma folks, all the pharma folks,
If you’re reimagining medicine, put your hands up!
Up in the office, working overtime,
If your email’s long, full of stupid lines,
If you’re reimagining medicine, put your hands up!
Verse 1:
I got an email today, from the Novartis crew,
Rebranding all the things we thought we knew,
Poor BMS comms, couldn’t catch a break,
Fumbling with messages that just don’t make sense, they’re fake!
They got rid of jobs, said, "Reapply or go,"
Now everyone’s scrambling, don’t you know?
Wasting time on stupid ideas in the inbox,
I'm just over here thinking, "This won’t work, man, it’s lost!"
Pre-Chorus:
You thought you knew it all, but now you’re in the game,
Reimagining medicine, but who’s to blame?
Now I’m just staring at the Swiss press,
They’re writing stories, giving us no rest!
Chorus:
All the pharma folks, all the pharma folks,
All the pharma folks, all the pharma folks,
If you’re reimagining medicine, put your hands up!
Up in the office, working overtime,
If your email’s long, full of stupid lines,
If you’re reimagining medicine, put your hands up!
Verse 2:
Oh, we thought we had it all, with ideas so bright,
But now we’re fighting back, ‘cause something’s not right,
Poor BMS comms, trying hard to explain,
While Swiss journalists call us out again!
It's the age of confusion, emails all around,
Where every word feels like it's sinking down.
A bad reputation’s not what we need,
But we're stuck in this loop, let’s all agree!
Pre-Chorus:
They told us to change, but it’s all the same,
Reimagining medicine, who’s to blame?
Sitting here waiting for the next mistake,
Will the emails ever change for heaven’s sake?
Chorus:
All the pharma folks, all the pharma folks,
All the pharma folks, all the pharma folks,
If you’re reimagining medicine, put your hands up!
Up in the office, working overtime,
If your email’s long, full of stupid lines,
If you’re reimagining medicine, put your hands up!
Bridge:
We’re stuck in a cycle, no jobs left to claim,
Made to reapply, but nothing’s the same,
We’ve got Swiss journalists laughing, oh so loud,
Novartis, we’re sorry, we’ll make it proud!
Chorus (Repeat):
All the pharma folks, all the pharma folks,
All the pharma folks, all the pharma folks,
If you’re reimagining medicine, put your hands up!
Up in the office, working overtime,
If your email’s long, full of stupid lines,
If you’re reimagining medicine, put your hands up!
Outro:
Reimagining medicine, yeah, we’ll be fine,
Just send another email, hope it’s not a sign!
If you’re reimagining medicine, put your hands up!