Happy vs Unhappy - what do you think?







Vagitarian said:
Thanks for the freedom, again, it isn't your opinion, it's your presentation
Amazing how much we agree on actions, just different reasons which are our fundamental rights.
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That's why NO unmarried teen, even an 18 or 19 year old, male or female has any business having sex. Abstinence is the way to go. Call it unrealistic if you want, but the fact of the matter is that it avoids all those questions and decisions that you raised. The great thing about abstinence is that it works every time it's tried and common sense says that if you're not ready to be a parent, you shouldn't be doing what makes babies.
 












Man For All Seasons said:
That's why NO unmarried teen, even an 18 or 19 year old, male or female has any business having sex. Abstinence is the way to go. Call it unrealistic if you want, but the fact of the matter is that it avoids all those questions and decisions that you raised. The great thing about abstinence is that it works every time it's tried and common sense says that if you're not ready to be a parent, you shouldn't be doing what makes babies.
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How about 2 people in my age group who aren't married (or are to someone else) oh wise one. How about grown ups who have had vasectomies having threesomes? Is that OK, boss?
 






Vagitarian said:
How about 2 people in my age group who aren't married (or are to someone else) oh wise one. How about grown ups who have had vasectomies having threesomes? Is that OK, boss?
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Oh, heck. Bring out the whips and chains, tie me up, tie me down - how about foursomes with condoms. . . me and my husband and one really hot guy and a litte Asian honey for the Mr.? LOL
 






Phoebe said:
This is response to ILA's post:

1) You asked what I would do if I had a teen daughter who became pregnant. I would first apologize to her for failing her as a parent. If she made the choice to have unprotected sex and I obviously didn't convey the consequences of such risky behavior. Or she failed to heed. But, either way, there was a failure. Then I would encourage her to carry the child to term and place the child up for adoption. I would support her 100% throughout the entire process. I would counsel against trying to raise the child herself because although we would do our best to support her, she is imprisoning that child to a life of difficulty. We won't be around forever. The child is a gift from God. It should be treated as such and given the best chance for an upbringing.

I would do the same except for the big part: I would not want my child to give up their baby for adoption. It is their flesh and blood as well as having my blood too. I would take on the responsibility to "help" with the baby until my child was in a position to take over. I could not give up a blood child and I know it would be hard, but I would do everything in my power to provide.

2) You asked what I would do if I had a son/daughter who was gay. I would love them and support them. I would want them to be happy. I would not try to change them. Hate the sin, love the sinner.

Agree!!!

3) You asked what I would do if I found out my wife cheated on me years ago. The answer is simple. I would obviously be hurt, but eventually, I would forgive. She is afterall the mother of my children and a great mother at that. But, I would divorce her. The simple reason is that she would have broken faith with our vows and trust would be gone. I believe that relationships can survive many ups and downs, but once trust is destroyed that is it.

Totally agree!!! And is one reason I am divorced. He cheated several times while we were married, I “found out after” he left the marriage for separation; he wanted to come home; I said NO, I forgave him but had no desire to be with him as husband and wife. He broke the trust in our marriage. I definitely believe in forgiving the act but that does NOT mean I had to stay with him; my choice.

4) You asked what I would do if my pastor were discovered to have an extramarital affair. Again, I would support him the best that I could, but I would not turn my back on him.

I agree! And this very thing DID happen in a Church I was going to. As I told the elders during a meeting they had for anyone that wanted to attend through out a week "I am sure this will rock the foundation of many within the Church; but it does NOT change my foundation of my Faith because the minister is NOT my God, he is human, a man capable of failing like all of us. But I do not feel that he should remain in the role of our minister OR remain on the payroll while the Church sent him and his family on a vacation to mend their family (they did that). I forgive but this minister did not need MY forgiveness; that was between him, his wife/family and God".
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Remember, he used the word 'urge' with his daughter. So unless it was a typo, I didn't hear him rule out termination OR keeping the child. I would consider all 3 options as well, again, depending on how old and the suitor.

Isn't it amazing when we spell it all out, and leave out snide remarks about each others' children, how similar our actions might be?
 






Vagitarian said:
How about 2 people in my age group who aren't married (or are to someone else) oh wise one. How about grown ups who have had vasectomies having threesomes? Is that OK, boss?
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Nope. Since you're so limited mentally, let me make it easy for you ALL sex outside of a one man - one woman marriage is NOT OK. That's all you have to remember.
 












Man For All Seasons said:
Nope. Since you're so limited mentally, let me make it easy for you ALL sex outside of a one man - one woman marriage is NOT OK. That's all you have to remember.
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. . . for you. I am allowed to screw up my life anyway I see fit as long as it is not illegal. Each of us defines our own limits of morality. Not all immoral acts are also illegal only the ones that society and our justice system have deemed harmful to individuals and/or society. Much of our definitions of "morality" come from religious doctrine. You have to keep that in mind. This is why church and state shall remain separate. Your viewpoints are traditional conservative Christian. There is no other way to define it. Vag and I define ourselves differently but are also law-abiding citizens. I have never done anything illegal. . . . well, if you don't include college fun. I even drive the speed limit.
 
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You tried to call? Nothing came through on my cell phone. Be sure you're dialing the cell; it has a 5 in it. I agree with you and it is easy to be very nasty on a chatboard where we are not face to face and have some resemblance of anonymity. It is also easy to cast judge on someone without knowing the person and whole story or ever having lived that situation yourself. I am sure a few here would be surprised that some of my best friends are conservative Christians. Obviously, not all of them know I'm crazy but some do and accept me as I am just as I accept them. We even listen to each other's perspectives without much comment but just to listen.
 






GorgeousGAMS said:
. . . for you. I am allowed to screw up my life anyway I see fit as long as it is not illegal. Each of us defines our own limits of morality. Not all immoral acts are also illegal only the ones that society and our justice system have deemed harmful to individuals and/or society. Much of our definitions of "morality" come from religious doctrine. You have to keep that in mind. This is why church and state shall remain separate. Your viewpoints are traditional conservative Christian. There is no other way to define it. Vag and I define ourselves differently but are also law-abiding citizens. I have never done anything illegal. . . . well, if you don't include college fun. I even drive the speed limit.
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I was merely letting Vag know what the Biblical standard was. Whether or not you choose to abide by that is your choice of course. We have had Biblical standards more codified in our laws in the past and were a healthier society for it. But currently you are free to do many things that aren't illegal, but according to Christian standards are very much immoral and sinful.
 






GorgeousGAMS said:
Oh, heck. Bring out the whips and chains, tie me up, tie me down - how about foursomes with condoms. . . me and my husband and one really hot guy and a litte Asian honey for the Mr.? LOL
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I've got a funny story about a whip. Give me a call..........
 






Having been raised in the RC Church, my upbringing was strict, which is why I went KA-RAZ-ZEEEEEE when I left for college.

One of the first thoughts I had when I found out my Dad died was that (since all truths are told when we die) I was not a virgin when I got married. That really saddened me. But I think he already knew it. But it still bothered me.
 






Drug Dumper said:
Having been raised in the RC Church, my upbringing was strict, which is why I went KA-RAZ-ZEEEEEE when I left for college.

One of the first thoughts I had when I found out my Dad died was that (since all truths are told when we die) I was not a virgin when I got married. That really saddened me. But I think he already knew it. But it still bothered me.
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And it sounds like you still carry the burden. What a sad thing that man would construct a belief system that took anything away from the physical and emotional joys you experienced growing into your sexuality. Looking back on it, doesn't it seem bizarre that such a thing would cause that internal conflict? Especially now that societal mores have changed?

I was reading the story of how William & Kate's wedding differs from Charles & Diana. One thing I didn't remember was that before they got married, a family member of hers had to publicly state that she was, in fact, a bona fide virgin. And now we have William & Kate who have lived together off & on for quite sometime.
 






Vagitarian said:
And it sounds like you still carry the burden. What a sad thing that man would construct a belief system that took anything away from the physical and emotional joys you experienced growing into your sexuality.
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Not really, Vag, and as far as man constructing a belief system that took away from the my joys of coming into my own sexuality, well, I don't see it that way. I wasn't a virgin when I left to go to college -- I just found out how much more FUN I could have away from Mommy and Daddy.

He was actually a forward thinking individual; I already mentioned how, for my 16th birthday, he bought a case of beer because since I was now allowed to date, I'd probably be drinking and he wanted me to learn how to handle it at home. When I was a freshman in college, he asked me what I wanted to drink at Thanksgiving. I told him a beer, and he told me that since I was in college, I might as well start drinking liquor at home. He was instrumental in my choice of Scotch.
 






Drug Dumper said:
Not really, Vag, and as far as man constructing a belief system that took away from the my joys of coming into my own sexuality, well, I don't see it that way. I wasn't a virgin when I left to go to college -- I just found out how much more FUN I could have away from Mommy and Daddy.

He was actually a forward thinking individual; I already mentioned how, for my 16th birthday, he bought a case of beer because since I was now allowed to date, I'd probably be drinking and he wanted me to learn how to handle it at home. When I was a freshman in college, he asked me what I wanted to drink at Thanksgiving. I told him a beer, and he told me that since I was in college, I might as well start drinking liquor at home. He was instrumental in my choice of Scotch.
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Sounds like a cool guy and a wise man. I would only allow a glass of Champagne or a single glass of wine - on Holidays, after age 18. Also my kids couldn't play rap music with the F bomb or other foul language. We talked it out, I knew they'd hear all that stuff at parties and in movies but I simply wanted them to learn some respect when being around their elders.
 












Vagitarian said:
And it sounds like you still carry the burden. What a sad thing that man would construct a belief system that took anything away from the physical and emotional joys you experienced growing into your sexuality. Looking back on it, doesn't it seem bizarre that such a thing would cause that internal conflict? Especially now that societal mores have changed?

I was reading the story of how William & Kate's wedding differs from Charles & Diana. One thing I didn't remember was that before they got married, a family member of hers had to publicly state that she was, in fact, a bona fide virgin. And now we have William & Kate who have lived together off & on for quite sometime.
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Yeah, it's amazing how far our standards have deteriorated and that has not been good for our society.

Charles and Diana's marriage was a disaster from the start, but that had nothing to do with the positive aspect of her being a virgin. It was a poor match and a contrived relationship.
 






Man For All Seasons said:
Yeah, it's amazing how far our standards have deteriorated and that has not been good for our society.

Charles and Diana's marriage was a disaster from the start, but that had nothing to do with the positive aspect of her being a virgin. It was a poor match and a contrived relationship.
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That may be true about Charles and Diana but it is certainly healthy to learn what your partner is like sexually before you marry him. Who buys a dress without trying it on?
 






Personally, I stayed a virgin for a long time back in the swinging 70s. But, after knowing how different people are sexually, I would never consider making a commitment without a test drive. Some men are absolutely horrible in the sack. Then you just get fucking old and wish to feel even crappy sex again. LOL
 






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