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Being forced to room with someone at meetings is so degrading and dehumanizing

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I like to room with new people. Hopefully I'm on my period and I like to leave an unwrapped tampooni in the trash can so my roommate can see it 1st thing. Hell, I might even leave a bloody towel on the floor next to her bed. If I'm not on the rag, I always leave my vibrator in view. I make sure there are a few pubies on it. I am european so I do not believe in a clean shave. My boyfriend says a shaved cooter reminds him of a small child and that is definitely a turnoff to him.
 








I've practiced masturbating in my bed with a tape microphone "jacked up" to 11 to see if I can do it quietly when I get my roomie, which I am so looking forward to. The experiment was a success. Whoever is lucky enough to get me as a roomie can just call me "Silent Sam".
 




Anonymous said:
I've practiced masturbating in my bed with a tape microphone "jacked up" to 11 to see if I can do it quietly when I get my roomie, which I am so looking forward to. The experiment was a success. Whoever is lucky enough to get me as a roomie can just call me "Silent Sam".
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I walked in on a "roomie" erkin his gherkin once. Talk about awkward! Cheap ass company!
 




you were the one who walked in on me? Do your eyes still burn from my man load? I remember you wearing a patch over your eye during the info exchange. I am sorry for that. I'm also sorry I wiped myself in your hair.
 












I roomed with a guy who clearly was as gay as the day is long. He was hostile towards me since he knew he was straight and married. He also had a flight attendant he had met "show up" at our room. Talk about awkward!!
 




Anonymous said:
Sharing a Queen bed isn't really that bad. It's just finding a fair way to determine who gets to sleep alone. Sure beats a poncho and a foxhole.

Slip into your grown up undies for the duration of the meeting. Then revert back at your leisure.
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I'm really glad you added the "bed isn't really that bad." Sharing a Queen just sounds wrong.
 








Why do I always get a fat roommate who uses some sort of nasty musk oil aftershave and shits several times each night as a result of overeating. Seriously, I always get that guy.
 




Anonymous said:
Why do I always get a fat roommate who uses some sort of nasty musk oil aftershave and shits several times each night as a result of overeating. Seriously, I always get that guy.
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I always get the 55-60 year old fat ass (who for some reason is NOT a Master Rep) who wants to go to bed at 8:30, snores like wood splitter, and gets up at 5 and takes a big shit before slamming the door while leaving at 6 while waking me up. Every effing time I get these guys.
 




HR needs to take action immediately. At the next Pfizer meeting, they should have an HR representative take 5 minutes at each session to hand out a brochure entiltled..."May we all shit in peace" This trifold brochure would cover all of the rules of the road regarding those tough to discuss issues about the importance of taking a "PC shit" and address the fact that it doesn't matter if you're young, old, fat, or unattractive...all shit smells and can be offensive if an individual doesn't know to excrete properly. An instructional video should be shown to display different scenarios of how to handle a proper "PC shit". This should then be discussed in an interactive manner so as to openly address all former shit offenses within a district. After reps have read and understood the new shit guidelines, a form needs to be signed stating that they understand the new "PC shit" policy. If for some reason, there are offenses past this point in time... immediate disciplinary action should be taken to remove all offenders from the company.
 




Anonymous said:
HR needs to take action immediately. At the next Pfizer meeting, they should have an HR representative take 5 minutes at each session to hand out a brochure entiltled..."May we all shit in peace" This trifold brochure would cover all of the rules of the road regarding those tough to discuss issues about the importance of taking a "PC shit" and address the fact that it doesn't matter if you're young, old, fat, or unattractive...all shit smells and can be offensive if an individual doesn't know to excrete properly. An instructional video should be shown to display different scenarios of how to handle a proper "PC shit". This should then be discussed in an interactive manner so as to openly address all former shit offenses within a district. After reps have read and understood the new shit guidelines, a form needs to be signed stating that they understand the new "PC shit" policy. If for some reason, there are offenses past this point in time... immediate disciplinary action should be taken to remove all offenders from the company.
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The turd burglar is going to have a really hard time with this policy. Burgling turds is not fun if everyone knows about it!
 
















I stopped having to room with people using a simple trick -- I tell people i start screaming in my sleep for no apparent reason-- PTSD For some reason, nobody wants to room with me ....

Try that next time
 








Anonymous said:
At the IEM meeting in Orlando last week I took a crap soooooo enormous that it completely filled the bowl and came out of the water by about 4 inches. It looked like a mountain of poop, surrounded by a creamy brown river. Kinda reminded me of Cleveland, except the creamy brown river wasn't on fire. Rather than flush this masterpiece, I took a small American flag (that came on my IHOP pancakes on the morning prior to the meeting start) and I planted it right atop Poop Mountain.

I then made sure to get down to the meeting room early so my roomie could enjoy my creation when he came back from his morning job. In fact, he atually threw up when he came in the room. He's lucky I didn't have explosive diarrhea.

I believe next meeting I'll be staying alone!!!
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Funny! Thanks for the laugh!
 




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