B-Russell Sprout the hatchet man for Derm

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anonymous said:
Did you set up EE’s for Sprout at AAD?
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Sprout missed the memo on being an executive. I'm with the rheum team and decided to introduce him to a doc at ACR. The review from my doc was a blockbuster hit: "I never want to see him again, and never bring him to my office."

He's achieved the impossible in sales - getting banned from an office without ever gracing it with his presence.

As a mid-level manager, any appearance by him at AAD would be less of a meet-and-greet and more of a catastrophe waiting to happen.
 








B-Sprout ventured to Vietnam to meet his bride's folks, only to discover their fondness for snoozing on wood rather than mattresses. Surviving a night on what felt like a medieval torture device, Russell embarked on a mattress quest. Their epic journey led them miles away to the only mattress in a 25-mile radius. But the saga didn't end there. Without a truck in sight, they enlisted a heroic motorcyclist, who, in a display of sheer determination, strapped the mattress to his bike and delivered it to B-Sprout. If we can get a mattress to ride a motorcycle across several Vietnamese villages, we can surely sell Tremfya with the same gusto.
 




anonymous said:
B Sprout coming for a work session, any tips? I have a Vietnamese restaurant picked out for lunch.
5 Star!
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The adventurous field ride with B-Russell Sprout, the Salesman from Another Realm! Picture this: A bright and shiny day, perfect for a field ride with me and my trusty sidekick, Sprout. His mission? To impress the largest customer in my territory. The outcome? Well, let's just say it was more of a comedy than a success story.

Sprout, armed with his arsenal of corny sales tactics – think "used car salesman meets infomercial host" – was ready to dazzle. Or so he thought. I am very optimistic, and hoped that perhaps, just this once, Sprout's unique approach might just break the ice. Instead, it broke the deal.

As we entered the office of the largest customer, Sprout unleashed his charm, with the enthusiasm of a squirrel on an espresso shot. But his words were not the music to the doctors ears he had imagined. They were more like... well, bagpipes to a cat.

With every unbeatable sentence and corny rhetorical questions that Sprout pitched, you could visibly see the bridge of patience burning. Not even halfway through the spectacle, Sprout found himself not walking but being escorted out of the door.

As we stepped back into the sunlight, Sprout, clapped his hands together and exclaimed, "What a great day in the field, huh?" Completely oblivious to the tornado of disaster he had just unleashed. Meanwhile, I could only wonder if there was a parallel universe where Sprout 's tactics actually worked because it certainly wasn't this one.

The moral of the story? Sometimes, the best place for a knight in shining armor is far away from the battlefield. Perhaps in a quiet, secluded tower... or in this case, a position with the least amount of customer interaction possible. Because in the real world, where customers are the treasure, it takes more than enthusiasm and corny tactics to win the day.

And so, our tale ends with Sprout boarding his flight home, likely dreaming of his next great adventure in his alternate reality.
 




anonymous said:
The adventurous field ride with B-Russell Sprout, the Salesman from Another Realm! Picture this: A bright and shiny day, perfect for a field ride with me and my trusty sidekick, Sprout. His mission? To impress the largest customer in my territory. The outcome? Well, let's just say it was more of a comedy than a success story.

Sprout, armed with his arsenal of corny sales tactics – think "used car salesman meets infomercial host" – was ready to dazzle. Or so he thought. I am very optimistic, and hoped that perhaps, just this once, Sprout's unique approach might just break the ice. Instead, it broke the deal.

As we entered the office of the largest customer, Sprout unleashed his charm, with the enthusiasm of a squirrel on an espresso shot. But his words were not the music to the doctors ears he had imagined. They were more like... well, bagpipes to a cat.

With every unbeatable sentence and corny rhetorical questions that Sprout pitched, you could visibly see the bridge of patience burning. Not even halfway through the spectacle, Sprout found himself not walking but being escorted out of the door.

As we stepped back into the sunlight, Sprout, clapped his hands together and exclaimed, "What a great day in the field, huh?" Completely oblivious to the tornado of disaster he had just unleashed. Meanwhile, I could only wonder if there was a parallel universe where Sprout 's tactics actually worked because it certainly wasn't this one.

The moral of the story? Sometimes, the best place for a knight in shining armor is far away from the battlefield. Perhaps in a quiet, secluded tower... or in this case, a position with the least amount of customer interaction possible. Because in the real world, where customers are the treasure, it takes more than enthusiasm and corny tactics to win the day.

And so, our tale ends with Sprout boarding his flight home, likely dreaming of his next great adventure in his alternate reality.
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BRILLIANT!
 








B Sprout with testimonials like above it honestly may be time to pack it in for the sake of the region and providers. Be honest with yourself and look in the mirror. It’s time.
 




Sprout, people are being very honest and somewhat helpful. Please listen to this advice. Time to pack it in and move to Vietnam. I’ll honestly contribute to buy 3 mattresses.
 












anonymous said:
Leave the hard stuff to a man with hair. You know: A REAL man.
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My hearing aids are basically my superhero cape for my ears, turning me into an unofficial member of the Super Hearing League. With these gadgets, I can catch whispers and subtle sounds with almost ultrasonic precision, making me practically superhuman in the hearing department.

B-Russell Sprout
 




anonymous said:
My hearing aids are basically my superhero cape for my ears, turning me into an unofficial member of the Super Hearing League. With these gadgets, I can catch whispers and subtle sounds with almost ultrasonic precision, making me practically superhuman in the hearing department.

B-Russell Sprout
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I actually hope he gets another rigged P club win so I can meet his new wife.

oh, you know she’s gonna like me
 




Meet our veteran leader B-Russell Sprout, a warrior of the pharmaceutical arena, now teetering on the edge of retirement. He's a cocktail of pride and nostalgia, toasting to a career that's seen more ups and downs than a yo-yo championship.

Armed only with a degree and sheer determination, he quickly learned that success in this game was a cocktail of serendipity, becoming a schmoozing virtuoso, and excelling as the ultimate champion of rigged p-club contests—hoarding participation trophies like a pro.

He plans to stick around until they show him the door, banking on his Kool-Aid serving skills to extend his stay indefinitely.

He's out there setting records, but not the kind you'd expect - he's banned from more offices than anyone else in the pharmaceutical industry! These real-world stats are more elusive than his resume's "Special Skills" section.
 




anonymous said:
Meet our veteran leader B-Russell Sprout, a warrior of the pharmaceutical arena, now teetering on the edge of retirement. He's a cocktail of pride and nostalgia, toasting to a career that's seen more ups and downs than a yo-yo championship.

Armed only with a degree and sheer determination, he quickly learned that success in this game was a cocktail of serendipity, becoming a schmoozing virtuoso, and excelling as the ultimate champion of rigged p-club contests—hoarding participation trophies like a pro.

He plans to stick around until they show him the door, banking on his Kool-Aid serving skills to extend his stay indefinitely.

He's out there setting records, but not the kind you'd expect - he's banned from more offices than anyone else in the pharmaceutical industry! These real-world stats are more elusive than his resume's "Special Skills" section.
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Believe it or not, this is incredibly accurate. And also very sad.
 




I haven't visited Cafe Pharma for a few months, but while attending AAD in San Diego, someone recommended I look at this thread. It's both priceless and incredibly accurate. It's widely recognized that he has overstayed his tenure, and it's time for him to gracefully exit the stage.
 




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