Need help because of manager's harassment

[Anonymous]

I've been at the job for about seven years now out of college and have dealt with many managers with many different personalities just fine. But, my current manager is making my life very difficult because he sits around and waits for me to make a mistake so he can play a gotcha game with me (whether or not I actually made a mistake). I've actually been warned. By another member of management that my current manager has complained about me and that he is just looking for sticks to beat me with.

He picked on another rep until he was fired before me and I think he's repeating the same pattern with me.

I will tolerate a great deal but the other day I actually had to take a sickday where I was getting emergency medical care and the pain in the neck manager was still harassing me even after I called out sick and was actually getting my emergency medical care. I was tipped off again thwt he was planning a surprise sneak attack field visit with me that day and was pissy because it didn't go the way that he had planned.

I've never been one to go to HR but I am considering it because thus is starting to take a toll on my health.

Does anyone have any advice or tips for dealing with this truly unkind person? Thanks for any help in advance.

 

[Anonymous]

I advise you to use the phrases :
"I feel bullied"/ "I feel harassed"…. reporting it to HR. I know, I know, HR is NOT there for you. However, you must have a file on record of your examples and how it makes you feel for you to state a claim later with EEOC or disability to make the company accountable. the company can do what they may, but let him know you reported this to HR (they'll tell him anyway) and you don't intend to deal with this type of treatment. If he chooses to continue, you will have to protect yourself. Put him on notice.

I did that. For me, it came to a screeching halt. I was scared, I knew the odds were stacked against me; but, the irrational behavior stopped. I was asked by my manager and HR why I did it. I said, because I'm well aware that if I make a claim later of unfair treatment, I need a record of this activity to protect myself. No record, no recourse. They know what that means.

Others suggested disability by getting diagnosed. I found it difficult to find a physician that sees adults in my area for mental care. I would have qualified too. Time has passed and there was no retribution and I definitely feel empowered. The manager chilled out and acted like nothing happened-wen onto the next victim. I hope you can tailor this experience to work for you, or at least it gives you confidence that you can stick up for yourself and survive.

Let us know how it goes. Sunday afternoon before working under these conditions are the worst .

 

[Drug Dumper]

Suck it up. But make sure you DO go to HR and complain. Most companies have an 800 # for complaints from the employees. And by the way, what you say to HR is supposed to be confidential -- HR is not supposed to let the DM know you've complained, but they throw that rule out the window.

Check your employee handbook for the guidelines. If it states information is kept confidential and they let the DM know you've complained, then you really have a case against the company.

 

[Anonymous]

I worked for a little shit of a company and ended up with a psychopath as a boss. He actually forced me to stand in a restaurant one time and "hug" him after writing me up for lies and telling me if I did not sign the paper, I was fired. I soon discovered two other female reps that he did the same thing to. We ALL went to HR and got the asshole fired. It took a while. I say get the other person who you claim to know had a similar experience. Get a good employment attorney and have your attorney file a formal complaint with HR and go to the EEOC. Do it even if there is just you. Just do it and do it with an attorney. All companies take that very seriously and you will have some protection by getting your own lawyer. In the meantime, look for another job. I know if it hard and very time consuming, but your really do not have any other options. Good luck and stay tough and stay mean.

 

[Anonymous]

OP, first of all, sorry to hear about your situation. Most of us with 3+ years (I have over 20) have had these situations come up.

My suggestion to you is to endure it if you like the company you are working for and, and you like your territory, and you are satisfied with the compensation...the reason is that this piece of crap will not always be your manager, as these pukes come and go in a territory.

However, if you are not happy with your situation, then I would update the resume and start looking.

Call in sick more. Use up the vacation. Get on interviews. You will have a lot of options with your track record.

Whatever you do, keep your words few with your manager and your co-workers. You can't trust anyone, especially HR.

 

[Anonymous]

OP here and thanks to everyone for your help. I work for a small company with an HR department of 2 do I think that the manager will find out but that's fine because I don't think he realizes that there are consequences to his actions. And, I hate to write this but he has a tendency to only like the bitchy women in the district (even though they are hated by everyone else in the company) and discredit the nicer ladies in the district even though they are liked by the others in the company. I am female and one of the nicer ones and he has said some of the cruelest things one can imagine. Like I wrote before--I can adapt to different personalities just fine but this guy's Jekyll and Hyde games are frightening & no one should be harassed while needing emergency medical treatment. I'm continuing to take time off per the orders of a physician but I may very well need to go to HR.

 

[Drug Dumper]

Whatever you do, keep your words few with your manager and your co-workers. You can't trust anyone, especially HR.

No truer words spoken. Do NOT tell your "best work friend" anything. When it comes to dollars and cents, there are not friends in the same company.

 

[Anonymous]

Yes, you must tell HR. Going in, realizing you are setting the stage for your dismissal-your way. HR is not there to help you-however, legally they cannot destroy your file etc. and the documentation will be there to set the stage for your departure, your way. And, yes, put your manger on notice that s/he is accountable to answer 'for the record'…of course.

Many of us who have left were one fruit loop short of a bread basket….over time you will heal and you will be stronger and empowered. It will work out for your good. Happy Thanksgiving. Be thankful for all you have, including this scenario. In the long run-YOU WIN.

 

[Anonymous]

Yes, you must tell HR. Going in, realizing you are setting the stage for your dismissal-your way. HR is not there to help you-however, legally they cannot destroy your file etc. and the documentation will be there to set the stage for your departure, your way. And, yes, put your manger on notice that s/he is accountable to answer 'for the record'…of course.

Many of us who have left were one fruit loop short of a bread basket….over time you will heal and you will be stronger and empowered. It will work out for your good. Happy Thanksgiving. Be thankful for all you have, including this scenario. In the long run-YOU WIN.

You WILL win....this spineless coward will get his.

I have been in a similar situation and took matters to an attorney.. but you MUST document everything and put your complaint in writing to HR. You need to show you tried to resolve matters and HR did nothing.

 

[Anonymous]

Most definitely! Or the burden of proof will be on YOU! Put them on the defense bc they will pour their time into building one. Develop your exit and destroy plan.

You WILL win....this spineless coward will get his.

I have been in a similar situation and took matters to an attorney.. but you MUST document everything and put your complaint in writing to HR. You need to show you tried to resolve matters and HR did nothing.

 

[Anonymous]

Looks like you can take some tips from these guys:

http://www.workplacebullying.org/individuals/problem/being-bullied/

 

[Anonymous]

I have a manager riding waaaay too often with me.

Has anyone had a manager that does back to back days for two weeks in a row every month? Should I be concerned?

 

[Drug Dumper]

yes -- ask your manager why you two seem to be spending so much time together...

 

[Anonymous]

yes -- ask your manager why you two seem to be spending so much time together...

I've thought of doing that but the manager is one of those people who gets very angry when questioned and holds it against someone.

 

[Anonymous]

I've thought of doing that but the manager is one of those people who gets very angry when questioned and holds it against someone.

Look for another job.
and when interviewing, ask better questions to better determine if the manager is a dick.

good luck.

 

[Drug Dumper]

I've thought of doing that but the manager is one of those people who gets very angry when questioned and holds it against someone.

Then tell him/her you're happy to have company because if there is something in particular he/she thinks you need help with you'll gladly accept the help.....

 

[Anonymous]

Look for another job.
and when interviewing, ask better questions to better determine if the manager is a dick.

good luck.

He comes across as a really nice person but he has this annoying micromanager side that I seem to be getting a heck of a lot of exposure to.

 

[Anonymous]

You have empowered this manager to treat you this way. You need to wake up and be accoutable. Every pc. of advice, you defend his/her actions and we are trying to give you advice to change your reality. The reality may be this is your comfort zone.

You are already on the managers bad side-so, so what.
You are already a target- so, so what.
You are already stressed out-so, so what.

You need to let the manager know that you do have a clue that this treatment is extreme. You do have the right to let him/her know that you look forward to seeing them on (date and time that will be exactly 2 weeks from today's date) because you are more than happy to re - route your territory to accomadate his/her schedule and maximize your time with him / her as you work on ...XYZ (that has been documented in your field ride-along report).

Bump-asking why. Point his/her butt on notice, bullet point your observations, provide action points that will be solutions to the problem. If there's no problem, s/he is on the defense - and very well should be.

I think you need to go handle your business.

BTW I am a former rep-now a manager. I speak from whence I know. Never compromise the integrity of who you are. You will look back and hate yourself for giving away your power and your pride to someone else.

 

[Anonymous]

You have empowered this manager to treat you this way. You need to wake up and be accoutable. Every pc. of advice, you defend his/her actions and we are trying to give you advice to change your reality. The reality may be this is your comfort zone.

You are already on the managers bad side-so, so what.
You are already a target- so, so what.
You are already stressed out-so, so what.

You need to let the manager know that you do have a clue that this treatment is extreme. You do have the right to let him/her know that you look forward to seeing them on (date and time that will be exactly 2 weeks from today's date) because you are more than happy to re - route your territory to accomadate his/her schedule and maximize your time with him / her as you work on ...XYZ (that has been documented in your field ride-along report).

Bump-asking why. Point his/her butt on notice, bullet point your observations, provide action points that will be solutions to the problem. If there's no problem, s/he is on the defense - and very well should be.

I think you need to go handle your business.

BTW I am a former rep-now a manager. I speak from whence I know. Never compromise the integrity of who you are. You will look back and hate yourself for giving away your power and your pride to someone else.

I am thankful to you and everyone who has given me advice. I admit that I was trying to give the manager the benefit of the doubt because I was reminded that "he is a human being too." But, recently, his actions indicated that now he has turned into an animal and he will now be treated as an animal.

A special thanks to the person who posted the linked to the workplace bullying website because that was especially helpful and has opened my eyes a great deal.

Slowly I am feeling empowered again and calming my agitations down because I am seeing things from a different point of view and am even fighting back in a nice way.

 

[Anonymous]

Go get 'em! Proud of you and glad you took the advice constructively.

Cheers to peace and empowerment!

PLease come back and share your testimony when this is all over-other's need to know they are not crazy, and not alone. That's the only reason I come back to this board...I was a basket case when I got out. But the peace I felt as I turned my keys over and refused their taxi ride home, as my partner escorted me to our paid off car (make this a priority-buy a used car!!) was priceless. I used the time off to heal and reposition myself.

Get your marbles back and rise!

The best to you.
former rep, now manager-(health care management not pharma by the way)