To all of you self righteous detractors or Indiana: there are plenty of people here that are smarter, better educated, better looking, with hot daughters, hotter wives without mustaches and hairy, fat bellies, that make a hell of a lot more money than you smug, coast dwellers. Sitting in traffic, waiting to inch through toll booths, going through drivethroughs for a Dunkin Donuts coffee is so exciting. Scratch tickets, Bonanza bus to Atlantic City, jellyfish at the Jersey Shore: oh boy. What exit do live at? Did I see you at the diner the other night? Sorry your kid got beat up in school today. Maybe if he joined a gang he wouldn't get his ass kicked. Do you like the produce better at Shaw's or ShopRite?
Get over yourselves. You're overworked, unhappy, outta shape, in debt up to your eyeballs, with a sh*tty boss and a job you hate. You spend more than you make. The Winter sucks, taxes are high and getter higher. Your car got stolen last month and your house has been broken into twice. Your kids are insecure and hate you. Your wife's having an affair with Guido at the deli. But take comfort: you don't live in Northern Indiana!