Oh bigot, are you one to really lecture me on obsession? That's a laugh! You, who answer me within an hour no matter when I post? Get real!
Besides, I'm in a pod and proud of it. Less work and more pay than crtx or cornerstone. Who's the dumb one now? Work smarter, not harder. Got it, ace?
I would think you could recognize my writing by now, here's my only post for the day, enjoy all you Rumpy vans!
PS: To poster 542, I think Rumpy has his cell phone set to alert him to any posts on the Critical board.
Where did Rumpy come from?
Rumpy was born a poor crack baby and immediately placed up for adoption (sorry if you didn’t already know this, Rumpy). His naive (but loving) adoptive parents believed their love and attention could overcome the any obstacles Rumpy was to face and they happily prepared their adoptive newborn for the world. As Rumpy grew into a toddler his young and naive (but loving) adoptive parents began to notice an anger in Rumpy that couldn’t be suppressed. For example, when he was three Rumpy couldn’t figure out how to pull the string on his new See and Say like the other kids so he threw it against the wall. And once, at a birthday party, Rumpy got so frustrated and angry trying to blow out the candles that he literally blew a capillary in his eye (just in time for him to dress up as Red-eyed Pete for Halloween). In his little toddler voice Rumpy would spew out such language that none of the other parents would let their toddlers play with him.
His naive (but loving) adoptive parents hoped that once Rumpy was in pre-school he’d learn some socialization skills but on the very first day Rumpy’s parents received a call to come pick him up. It seems Rumpy became so angry and destructive when he couldn’t eat everyone else’s cookies that he threw the whole tray at the teacher and called her a stupid doo-doo head. The pre-school suggested that maybe Rumpy could benefit from the new drug treatments for attention deficit disorder and recommended he be evaluated for treatment. Despite the advice, Rumpy’s naïve (but loving) adoptive parents again hoped that their love and attention could overcome any obstacles Rumpy was to face.
All through elementary school, middle school and high school Rumpy’s anger and frustration caused him to lash out at others. When he got a D on a spelling test in kindergarten it was because the teacher was a “pooh-for-brains” and when a middle school project received a failing score it escalated to the teacher being an “ass-wipe”. Teachers kept passing Rumpy along, though, hoping that he wouldn’t have to repeat their classes. Nothing anybody could say or do helped Rumpy; he often said, during his senior year, “Me smarter than everybody, me no need help, me and my buddies show you!”. What made it sad was that Rumpy didn’t even have buddies, except the ones his naive (but loving) adoptive parents paid to play with him. They even gave a girl from across town $100.00 to go to the prom with him because nobody at his own school would (especially after word got out about the locker room incident where he tried to “ride” the laundry hamper).
Finally Rumpy graduated from high school, his grades couldn’t get him into a 4 year college but the local community college finally accepted a donation from Rumpy’s naive (but loving) adoptive parents and allowed Rumpy to attend. Rumpy did alright in the remedial classes, after all they used the same text books he had in high school. He was able to bring his GPA up to where a 4 year college started letting him audit some of their classes and eventually accepted him into their program (this cost his naive (but loving) adoptive parents a $40,000 donation, but at least it was tax deductable).
Rumpy didn’t have too many problems in college, probably because they made him take on-line courses and, since he lived in his naive (but loving) adoptive parent’s basement, he didn’t have much contact with the outside world. On the day Rumpy received his diploma in the mail his naive (but loving) adoptive parents cheered; finally Rumpy could go out and make his own way in the world. Rumpy landed a job with a big pharma company that liked to hire kids right out of college. They molded him into one of their own; he learned to check the box, deliver one liners and drop off samples as well as anyone. In fact, he was so good at checking the box that his manager commented he was like an idiot savant (his pod nicked named him “The Idiot” for short). The only problem was that when sales were good Rumpy claimed all the credit and when sales were bad he blamed the rest of the pod.
One day a recruiter called Rumpy, it seems someone recommended Rumpy (it turned out it was one of Rumpy’s own pod-mates, go figure) for a great opportunity to get in on the ground floor of a new bio-tech company called Critical Therapeutics. Rumpy got an interview, he presented himself as a “Specialty Rep” and the star of the pod; he claimed he worked harder and longer than the rest of the pod and, well, you know the rest of the story.
In short Rumpy got hired by Critical, failed to perform in less than 7 months, and was “let go”. He did managed to snag another pod-job, however, and now comes back to entertain us with the personality traits that even his naive (but loving) adoptive parents couldn’t help him overcome.
