Merry Christmas

[anonymous]

It was the national meeting. The year doesn't matter, but most of you can probably figure it out. Just think of the greatest rep who ever served this company. The best of the best, the man who taught so many of you the art of selling.
It was coming down to the wire, who would be number one and who would be number two in the rankings. I'd already won it a few times before, so it was no big deal. But the other guy who was in contention with me--he was sweating. He said he wanted to finally tell his wife and kids that he was finally number one. But about an hour before the ceremony, my National and Regional and District managers came to me and said: Man, you've done it again. Number one in our franchise again! But only one problem: Your nearest competitor is so worried and distaught about being number one, that we're worried about him. Would you possibly take the number two position and let him take number one? You'll get an ever fatter bonus if you do. Plus, his wife is so disgusted with him for being a loser every year, while your wife is not only dedicated but super model hot, would you do it? It might help him at home soon?
Why not, I said? I'll just take number one again next year. You know I always do.
And I did.

 

[anonymous]

It was the national meeting. The year doesn't matter, but most of you can probably figure it out. Just think of the greatest rep who ever served this company. The best of the best, the man who taught so many of you the art of selling.
It was coming down to the wire, who would be number one and who would be number two in the rankings. I'd already won it a few times before, so it was no big deal. But the other guy who was in contention with me--he was sweating. He said he wanted to finally tell his wife and kids that he was finally number one. But about an hour before the ceremony, my National and Regional and District managers came to me and said: Man, you've done it again. Number one in our franchise again! But only one problem: Your nearest competitor is so worried and distaught about being number one, that we're worried about him. Would you possibly take the number two position and let him take number one? You'll get an ever fatter bonus if you do. Plus, his wife is so disgusted with him for being a loser every year, while your wife is not only dedicated but super model hot, would you do it? It might help him at home soon?
Why not, I said? I'll just take number one again next year. You know I always do.
And I did.

Sure.

 

[anonymous]

It was the national meeting. The year doesn't matter, but most of you can probably figure it out. Just think of the greatest rep who ever served this company. The best of the best, the man who taught so many of you the art of selling.
It was coming down to the wire, who would be number one and who would be number two in the rankings. I'd already won it a few times before, so it was no big deal. But the other guy who was in contention with me--he was sweating. He said he wanted to finally tell his wife and kids that he was finally number one. But about an hour before the ceremony, my National and Regional and District managers came to me and said: Man, you've done it again. Number one in our franchise again! But only one problem: Your nearest competitor is so worried and distaught about being number one, that we're worried about him. Would you possibly take the number two position and let him take number one? You'll get an ever fatter bonus if you do. Plus, his wife is so disgusted with him for being a loser every year, while your wife is not only dedicated but super model hot, would you do it? It might help him at home soon?
Why not, I said? I'll just take number one again next year. You know I always do.
And I did.

Go gag on a mars bar...

 

[anonymous]

It was the national meeting. The year doesn't matter, but most of you can probably figure it out. Just think of the greatest rep who ever served this company. The best of the best, the man who taught so many of you the art of selling.
It was coming down to the wire, who would be number one and who would be number two in the rankings. I'd already won it a few times before, so it was no big deal. But the other guy who was in contention with me--he was sweating. He said he wanted to finally tell his wife and kids that he was finally number one. But about an hour before the ceremony, my National and Regional and District managers came to me and said: Man, you've done it again. Number one in our franchise again! But only one problem: Your nearest competitor is so worried and distaught about being number one, that we're worried about him. Would you possibly take the number two position and let him take number one? You'll get an ever fatter bonus if you do. Plus, his wife is so disgusted with him for being a loser every year, while your wife is not only dedicated but super model hot, would you do it? It might help him at home soon?
Why not, I said? I'll just take number one again next year. You know I always do.
And I did.

# 1 isn't achieved.

It is selected.

Stop the nonsense.

 

[anonymous]

Bravo. So true.

 

[anonymous]

Apparently no one remembers you.

 

[anonymous]

It was the national meeting. The year doesn't matter, but most of you can probably figure it out. Just think of the greatest rep who ever served this company. The best of the best, the man who taught so many of you the art of selling.
It was coming down to the wire, who would be number one and who would be number two in the rankings. I'd already won it a few times before, so it was no big deal. But the other guy who was in contention with me--he was sweating. He said he wanted to finally tell his wife and kids that he was finally number one. But about an hour before the ceremony, my National and Regional and District managers came to me and said: Man, you've done it again. Number one in our franchise again! But only one problem: Your nearest competitor is so worried and distaught about being number one, that we're worried about him. Would you possibly take the number two position and let him take number one? You'll get an ever fatter bonus if you do. Plus, his wife is so disgusted with him for being a loser every year, while your wife is not only dedicated but super model hot, would you do it? It might help him at home soon?
Why not, I said? I'll just take number one again next year. You know I always do.
And I did.

There were certainly some great ones like you who deserved to be recognized, but that was before the game became rigged. Reps like you achieved legendary status and are still talked about to this day, but mostly by mediocre posers who never really accomplished anything. Senior management should bring you up on stage to teach how it's really done. But then they'd have to admit that it's now all rigged. The days of reps who were masters of the Universe are over. Now everyone is just miserable.

Maybe you could continue this thread and teach us some of your sales techniques. A lot of us are listening.

 

[anonymous]

There were certainly some great ones like you who deserved to be recognized, but that was before the game became rigged. Reps like you achieved legendary status and are still talked about to this day, but mostly by mediocre posers who never really accomplished anything. Senior management should bring you up on stage to teach how it's really done. But then they'd have to admit that it's now all rigged. The days of reps who were masters of the Universe are over. Now everyone is just miserable.

Maybe you could continue this thread and teach us some of your sales techniques. A lot of us are listening.

The "sales techniques" were the absence of sunshine laws and wide open access, budgets that allowed for golf games and wining/dining docs along with their spouses, and entertainment events hosted at concert, sport, and theatre venues that customers actually wanted to attend.

Next question?

 

[anonymous]

The "sales techniques" were the absence of sunshine laws and wide open access, budgets that allowed for golf games and wining/dining docs along with their spouses, and entertainment events hosted at concert, sport, and theatre venues that customers actually wanted to attend.

Next question?

BINGO!

 

[anonymous]

It was the national meeting. The year doesn't matter, but most of you can probably figure it out. Just think of the greatest rep who ever served this company. The best of the best, the man who taught so many of you the art of selling.
It was coming down to the wire, who would be number one and who would be number two in the rankings. I'd already won it a few times before, so it was no big deal. But the other guy who was in contention with me--he was sweating. He said he wanted to finally tell his wife and kids that he was finally number one. But about an hour before the ceremony, my National and Regional and District managers came to me and said: Man, you've done it again. Number one in our franchise again! But only one problem: Your nearest competitor is so worried and distaught about being number one, that we're worried about him. Would you possibly take the number two position and let him take number one? You'll get an ever fatter bonus if you do. Plus, his wife is so disgusted with him for being a loser every year, while your wife is not only dedicated but super model hot, would you do it? It might help him at home soon?
Why not, I said? I'll just take number one again next year. You know I always do.
And I did.

Then I remember Marti, looking along the line of winners, staring into my eyes and mouthing: "They're all posers, but you're the real deal. You are simply...the BEST."
I just nodded, and won every other prize there was to win. But there was nothing unusual about that.

 

[anonymous]

Then I remember Marti, looking along the line of winners, staring into my eyes and mouthing: "They're all posers, but you're the real deal. You are simply...the BEST."
I just nodded, and won every other prize there was to win. But there was nothing unusual about that.

One morning Marti flew into town to meet with me for breakfast. I was ready to take her to some of the biggest KOLs in the country, all who treated me not as a rep but as a true partner, but she didn't want to go. "Look, everyone knows you get access like nobody else, so I don't need to see your customers. What I do want is your help figuring out why so many of our reps are so lousy."
I looked her in the eye and said: "Because they don't work. They lie about everything. They're not only not as intelligent as I am, but they lack the work ethic."
Marti just sat there listening to my every word. "You're a business genius," she said over her pancakes.
"Tell me something I don't know," I said, and we both laughed.
"I can't wait to give you another President's Club award," she said. "Dude, you win every year!"
It was at that point I began negotiating with her for a bigger prize, one that would show everyone that I was the greatest rep the company ever had. And with my world class negotiating skills, you know she was going to agree.
I'll tell you more about that later.

 

[anonymous]

One morning Marti flew into town to meet with me for breakfast. I was ready to take her to some of the biggest KOLs in the country, all who treated me not as a rep but as a true partner, but she didn't want to go. "Look, everyone knows you get access like nobody else, so I don't need to see your customers. What I do want is your help figuring out why so many of our reps are so lousy."
I looked her in the eye and said: "Because they don't work. They lie about everything. They're not only not as intelligent as I am, but they lack the work ethic."
Marti just sat there listening to my every word. "You're a business genius," she said over her pancakes.
"Tell me something I don't know," I said, and we both laughed.
"I can't wait to give you another President's Club award," she said. "Dude, you win every year!"
It was at that point I began negotiating with her for a bigger prize, one that would show everyone that I was the greatest rep the company ever had. And with my world class negotiating skills, you know she was going to agree.
I'll tell you more about that later.

Marti stories are the BEST! She recognized true talent. Some leaders just have a knack for it.

 

[Paul Revere anonymous]

One morning Marti flew into town to meet with me for breakfast. I was ready to take her to some of the biggest KOLs in the country, all who treated me not as a rep but as a true partner, but she didn't want to go. "Look, everyone knows you get access like nobody else, so I don't need to see your customers. What I do want is your help figuring out why so many of our reps are so lousy."
I looked her in the eye and said: "Because they don't work. They lie about everything. They're not only not as intelligent as I am, but they lack the work ethic."
Marti just sat there listening to my every word. "You're a business genius," she said over her pancakes.
"Tell me something I don't know," I said, and we both laughed.
"I can't wait to give you another President's Club award," she said. "Dude, you win every year!"
It was at that point I began negotiating with her for a bigger prize, one that would show everyone that I was the greatest rep the company ever had. And with my world class negotiating skills, you know she was going to agree.
I'll tell you more about that later.

Cheers,

Paul Revere

 

[anonymous]

One morning Marti flew into town to meet with me for breakfast. I was ready to take her to some of the biggest KOLs in the country, all who treated me not as a rep but as a true partner, but she didn't want to go. "Look, everyone knows you get access like nobody else, so I don't need to see your customers. What I do want is your help figuring out why so many of our reps are so lousy."
I looked her in the eye and said: "Because they don't work. They lie about everything. They're not only not as intelligent as I am, but they lack the work ethic."
Marti just sat there listening to my every word. "You're a business genius," she said over her pancakes.
"Tell me something I don't know," I said, and we both laughed.
"I can't wait to give you another President's Club award," she said. "Dude, you win every year!"
It was at that point I began negotiating with her for a bigger prize, one that would show everyone that I was the greatest rep the company ever had. And with my world class negotiating skills, you know she was going to agree.
I'll tell you more about that later.

Cheers,

Paul Revere

Well, look who crawled out from under his rock.

 

[anonymous]

Well, look who crawled out from under his rock.

I love how Marti gave people cool funny nicknames. Didn't she come up with "Brussel Sprouts" after that national call when a certain RBD felt the need to describe his hemorrhoid surgery? You have to admit: THAT was hilarious.

Got any more to share? I can't wait to read them all weekend!

 

[anonymous]

I love how Marti gave people cool funny nicknames. Didn't she come up with "Brussel Sprouts" after that national call when a certain RBD felt the need to describe his hemorrhoid surgery? You have to admit: THAT was hilarious.

Got any more to share? I can't wait to read them all weekend!

Yes! Bob was trying to tell everyone he was a "straight shooter" when Marti cut him off at the knees. "Shut up, little man," she said. "We're already sick of hearing about your anal surgery. About your...brussel sprouts!"

As we all cracked up, that chubby girl from New England chimed in. "And they're so stinky," she said.

After that, a legend was born.

 

[anonymous]

Yes! Bob was trying to tell everyone he was a "straight shooter" when Marti cut him off at the knees. "Shut up, little man," she said. "We're already sick of hearing about your anal surgery. About your...brussel sprouts!"

As we all cracked up, that chubby girl from New England chimed in. "And they're so stinky," she said.

After that, a legend was born.

This is great. I love that absolutely no one who works under Bob's management like him. Talk about an idiot who got to where he did by kissing major ass. No wonder the guy's name is pretty much a joke at J and J.