Merck Rep : The cotton candy of careers

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Anonymous

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Ay yes, all yee Merckoids...the taste is indeed sweet for the newbie with his/shiny new Fusion, and company cellphone/gps/tracker. But it dissaptes quickly, and as the years go by, you will find yourself malnourised, and getting sick from the bad diet of BS you are being fed to keep the joke propped up.

Let me clue you in on what the new designations really mean:

S1 - You have been designated a bottom feeder. You are either new and green, or old and crusty and ready to be put out to pasture. Now on a positive note, getting out of this hellhole may be more likely for S1s in the nearterm, thus you can get on with you life and get a decent career that is not like attending kindergarden. Sure, like a catfish in a algae covered lake, you troll along the bottom eating s&*t every day. But hey!! Your big opportunity in life is that if you jump thru enough hoops, you too may someday become an S2. Congratulations!!

S2 - Ahhh...you are the Jan Bradys of Merck. The middle, mis-understood child that though you were S3 material, but had to face the grim reality that you somehow fell short on your "competencies." Alas young Merckbot, and don't despair. Your manager, through his wisdom and coaching, will lead you to taking a shot at the S3 brass ring...But it will take lots of extra work....and brown nosing...oh man, that S3 is so close I can feel it!! But why can't I touch it? Looks like you will have to pretend that things are ok at Merck just a little bit betrer..You may be a bit too reality based for management.

S3 - Oh yes...Marcia, Marcia, Marcia...(to used another Brady Bunch metaphor.) You are the golden children...With your flaxen straight hair, and you silver tongues...You really care about Merck...disloyalty at Merck?? You'll have none of that...They like me...They really like me! The queen bees have got immunity from the TOP CHEF at Big Pharma, and are rewarded with the opportunity to keep slogging away at a dead career path for the forseeable future...What a gift!! A road to nowhere, but hell, I AM AN S3...Can you know me?? The S3s are the true believers...Getting sample sigs, and being caterers being taken to a new, dizzying art form!! Bravo S3s!! Have fun with your heavy lifting...
 






perfect. glad to see merck has gone back to it's roots. bradey bunch indeed. merck was always in love with the frat types for it's sales people. you know-look great on the outside-empty on the inside. the new S1-3 is perfect merck, who LOVES the bell curve. S-3 on the right, S-1 on the left and the majority, S-2 smack dab in the middle of the bell. wow this company is unbelievably inept. mired in some kinda post buisness school fantasy. so glad I'm gone.
 












When asked about the role of the S3's in our region my manager said they needed to sit down first and define the role! Wait a minute, the just promoted the "chosen few" to the top slots and they don't know what their roles are going to be? Are you serious? Oh, I forgot, this is Merck, they know what their doing. Have another sip of Kool Aid.
 






What Merck knows most is that without golden boys one has no hope. So first, go get some golden boys. Thank God for that insight and for taking away the basis of our biggest fear. We needn't worry our fluffy heads. Those golden boys will for sure make the right moves. And the rest of us should just shut our pieholes.
 






Anonymous said:
What Merck knows most is that without golden boys one has no hope. So first, go get some golden boys. Thank God for that insight and for taking away the basis of our biggest fear. We needn't worry our fluffy heads. Those golden boys will for sure make the right moves. And the rest of us should just shut our pieholes.
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Don't worry, Todd Nichols has everything under control!!
 






And forget about getting yourself promoted to gold. You're either a natural-born genius or you're not. Only management has the vision to sort that out from a few minutes of contact time. It is pretty hard to drop from grace as long as the original hiring management is in place; it is impossible to change their opinion of you once you are pigeon-holed. Motivated to work hard in order to accelerate your advance, anyone? No response needed from any golden boys. Just keep drinking your Kool-Aid
 
























OK, whoever wrote this post is a true realist. Must be an S1. Or a great actor. No one with this level of awareness could be an S2 or S3--those titles are reserved for the Kool Aid drinking ass-kissers.
 












S2 - Ahhh...you are the Jan Bradys of Merck. The middle, mis-understood child that though you were S3 material, but had to face the grim reality that you somehow fell short on your "competencies." Alas young Merckbot, and don't despair. Your manager, through his wisdom and coaching, will lead you to taking a shot at the S3 brass ring...But it will take lots of extra work....and brown nosing...oh man, that S3 is so close I can feel it!! But why can't I touch it? Looks like you will have to pretend that things are ok at Merck just a little bit betrer..You may be a bit too reality based for management.


Brilliant and very entertaining! I'm an S2 and proud of it! While I had no aspirations whatsoever to take on the S3 role (I'd rather enjoy life), I was pissed about "falling short" on competencies...i.e., now, after so many years in this industry, with awards and continuous good standing behind me, I'm being told I'm "lacking"? Give me a break! Thank goodness I'm near the end of being in this hellhole...I'm just pretending to want to "get better" while I await my exit. Next round of layoffs can't come soon enough!
 
























S1,2,3s competencies, ???? Former rep here....guess what I get graded in every day?
Making my company and me MONEY.work with some real idiots but guess what? they are bringing in the dough..some real nice sharp folks ain't cutting it...guess who the boss will cut?? It won't be the one with great competence skills and that did well on the online tests. Pharma is the cotton candy 'sales' job..taste great, not real good for you and sticky.
 






Anonymous said:
S1,2,3s competencies, ???? Former rep here....guess what I get graded in every day?
Making my company and me MONEY.work with some real idiots but guess what? they are bringing in the dough..some real nice sharp folks ain't cutting it...guess who the boss will cut?? It won't be the one with great competence skills and that did well on the online tests. Pharma is the cotton candy 'sales' job..taste great, not real good for you and sticky.
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So right. I can't remember the last time I actually sold something here. In fact, I recently had some interviews with other Med. / Pharma. Pharma liked me. Med. laughed. Also talked with IT, they couldn't use me either. Bottom line is, I have more experience in acting and catering (with someone else's food) than I do in sales. Been here 9 years. Slow death.
 












Anonymous said:
So right. I can't remember the last time I actually sold something here. In fact, I recently had some interviews with other Med. / Pharma. Pharma liked me. Med. laughed. Also talked with IT, they couldn't use me either. Bottom line is, I have more experience in acting and catering (with someone else's food) than I do in sales. Been here 9 years. Slow death.[/QUOT

Ohhhh so true! Better find you some new skills quick- catering doesn't pay much and you will be just one of a million wannabe actors out in Hollywood!
Sucks when you realize that all that time was wasted in pharma- You could have actually been doing something that would amount to something! Now you are starting from scratch!
Not fun, but better than working for Merck!
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