Us commisshun fellers

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Anonymous

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Dern. My head it shure hurtin from all that fansee home studeying merteriel. Last time I studee hard like this was when I were lernin for my GED. I rekin I done read enuff about that there Spectrosherif anniebiodick fer one week. To day I were feelin real comfident bout all that high falootin stuf en so I got me a noshun to go an talk with one of them docters in town. I rekin it be good practise en them fansee folk in that Cornerstone wood shure be empressed when I come see em. Well, that there docter today done never herd of specrosherif. I fellt sorry fer him cause I rekin he dont be keepin up on advansed teknolagee. Then I done pull out the big guns. I tell him that spectrosherif got the best mic90 in the bidness. I sed I gonna bring em some soon as thay done give me some di rectlee from reserch triangular. Well I had to git goin when that purdy nurse walk in. She done give me a woodie.
 






Well howdy feller! You sound like a good old country boy. I wus born en rased in Alabama. I done graduated from 2 year college, bein first one in my famly to git past high school. You can call me Daisy Mae. Like you Im lernin that home studie too. I hope i remembr all that farmercokenetics. Befor my big brother git killd in jail he use to make his own drugs. he make him some elless dee and I help him cook up some cristal meth. We kinda poor en so sellin them drugs shure help maw git buy. I gots plum intrested readin what you rote. your shure brave goin out talkin to that docter before the trainin in Caroliner. Are you cute? Sinse we both from the country, I was thinkin that maybee you en me can hook up down at thet trainin. So if your cute I mite just let you go a ruttin on me. I still got me my birth control pills to use up. After I start this here job Im gonna stop takin them so I can catch me an avalable docter. Well, Ill see you in november. Be shuren save that woodie for me! Bye now big boy!
 






Aw shucks I rekin I done empresst that there little cuntry lady sumpin good. Well boyz I think I almost ready fer that there trainin in Caroliner. I sure hope she aint too awful purdy en I git me anoder woodie in fron of all yall. Only thing that trainin be right dorin huntin seesin en I always get me a buck ora doe en bringer back to paw bafore thankgiven. I rekin I gonna pack my shotgun so as I kin do a litle huntin erly in the morn before that there trainin start up. I gonna ask that Mr collard greens feller if he want a come along a huntin with me. It alwayz good ideea to git real extree frendly with them there top fancee bossiz. That be some good polyticken. Well maw she ringin that there dinner bell now. I come back laiter en tell yall all about anoder docter I done visit to day.
 


















Anonymous said:
Stop making posts to yourself!
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Hey their feller! Aint no need to go and take that their atteude. Its fellers like you is why Mr. Collard greens done gone and hired us in. I aint got no fancey machaniel drawn horse carriage, no fancey gas card and not even all my frant teeth but I do got is that there sellen abiliaty. You done gone and thinked your all fancey with that freebird you drive but my el camino named Melba Toast will done gone and help me sell dem good drugs better than you. One more thing feller, you better done gone and accepet the fact that yous gonna be workin for me reel dad gum soon once I gone and get promated. Me and that their spy v gonna done go and run konnerstane; you just watcch.
 






I reckon I so xsited to hit the pavmant morrow. I gonna tel dem decters wiy me drug id best. Dat damn here Mic 9o make it most poetant antebeiotic on da marcet. I gonna tel dose decters my durg is de beast. ya'll got some compppetttion morrow fellears. Mr. collard greens and mr. wad(who ceams lick a good country folk) done make a good dession. I heer a lot of dings about that fatass fellar in tecas. I gonna out sail that feller but i reckon i dunt pay dudge bail, but my maw maw can sur wip up dem decters some good ole pinto beens and cornebreed. I tel ya'll about it morrow good nite folks.
 






Good news fellers!!!! I done gone and got me a suceuss story about that thier good drug specktrecte. My sistor Mattie Jo Dawn done had a case of dem red bumpey itchhes she done caughte from jimmy jack dale. We took some of that their specktrecte and sprinkled in the crotches area of dem wranglers she always be wearin. And guess what fellers?? It done cleaned them red itchhes right up plum good. Ima gonna go and tell dem dockters about that their "off label uses". I done figured sum of dem big gals dat be workin up front in dem dockters offises done ben wit a lot of fellers an done kaught a few venareal damisies and that their specktrecte can help um. After sum of dem stories i done hear about that Mr. Collard Greens Ima gonna kall him an done tell him to goes and gets on it reel quick like. Thats all fer now fellers.
 






Weel tan my hide. That shure are a reel nise sucsess story there feller. Ima thankin we gonna be good colleeges an we kin help oneother now en then with some a good avice. Congratialashuns to ya there skeeter! Wood you like to go a huntin with me in the erly morn afore they start up that there Caroliner trainin each day? I wanna brang me a buck home to paw fer thankgiven. I were thenkin to envite some of them there fansee bosses en git on there good side from the git go. Than polytickin kin go a long way in them there big compneys. Speshelly over yonder reserch triangular. Reelly good poyt you done made bout that there off labal use. I done sed somting simlar to one of them docters jus to day. I done talk bout that specrochef bein a real poetant medasine en he say he were fermilyer with it. He say it kin make a pashent deeficate all over like that there diarrear. En so I say to him, that there specrochef be real real useful ifen you done eat too much cheez en git all binded up en cant pinch a good loafe. Kinda like losens you up. He done laffed, so I giss he done agreeed with what I sayed. One thang I dont unnderrstand, lot of them there docters wanna chang the subgect en talk bout INsurance an formulares en sompin bout 3 teers and some ominysherif gerinetrics from thurd generization. He done lost me with lota them there big words en fast talkin. Happend a few time already. I rekin they gonna covr all that there in that trainin class. Well, I see you round good buddie!
 






I reckon I just got bac frum dat hi flooten toooteen traning. I ecited abut bein a fannsy comussion only sailsman. Collard greens was an okay fellar, but i reckon i dat johnny mccornbreed didn't seam rite. As nanny says he was greeaseir dan a pig in slope warling in his own droppins. aint's sayen i dat smert of a fellar, but dat mccornbread feller semmed dummber dan maw maw hog aftar we eatten his brans. Collard greens and mccornbreed seamed to be getten a bit handzy on de buttzys wit der selfs. I reckon i dunt lik dat. I stayinnn a commusion sailsmens cus i ain't gatten handsy with a feller. dat donna whitebeans is a purty lady. She mad me cat pur, but shhe seam like nanny wuld says she feeeden de pigs allata bullleshit (i a curch goin fellar jus tellin like me nanny wuld)
 






Well fellers i don put me in a good days work and everythin went plum good untell ma last stop. Hear i done gone into this fancey dockters offise. That ole big gal a sitten up front went and askeded me where her afternoons snack be at. I done said "Lissten hear you ole porkbelly yous fatter than than my paw paws prize sow Bessy May JoJo. You needs to be out in dem fields a picken them peas to work off them their fat-rolls." That their fat gal done gone an got plum mad at me and keckeded me out of that offise fer a coons age. That their means one year fer you citty folk. Ha! Ha!

Thats all fer now fellers!!! My sistor done turned up some Lynard Skinard and that means shes a wantin some of that good lovin only us commisshun fellers can give out!!!
 






This here be en uffishel envitashen to all yall who gonna go to that there Caroliner trainin in week an a haff yonder. I gonna be doin some huntin bout 5 oclock evry morn before that there trainin start up. I kin pack 3 or 4 shotgun in my pickup truck ifen any yall entersted. Ima fixin to envite that Mr Collard greens feller en couple of them big boyz in that there home orffice. Ifen any yall entrested, just dont be shy now en give me a holler.
 






Anonymous said:
This here be en uffishel envitashen to all yall who gonna go to that there Caroliner trainin in week an a haff yonder. I gonna be doin some huntin bout 5 oclock evry morn before that there trainin start up. I kin pack 3 or 4 shotgun in my pickup truck ifen any yall entersted. Ima fixin to envite that Mr Collard greens feller en couple of them big boyz in that there home orffice. Ifen any yall entrested, just dont be shy now en give me a holler.
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Hey feller!! Right nice to here from you, its ben a spell cince we done talked last. I was a talkin to this hear gal thats ben with the knoerstone since they done opened the doors. She done told me she were a top gun and such at trainin. Now i aint gonna call out her name but shes an ole butt ugly board that done ben a wearin to much of that makem-up. I gots tired of herein about top gun this and top gun that and I done told her that I gots lots of guns sos Ima thinkin I'll fit in reel nice like with that ole boy from bama thats a runnin the companey. I said he talks reel slow and I talk reel slow. He looks inbread and I looks inbread. That there done shut her up but good. Ill be a seein you at trainin feller.
 






Hey fellers!!! its been a spell cents i done talked to yalls but ive ben busy sellin dem good drugs. why jus the other day a dokter done asked me why he should rite specktracif. i said "dokter specktracif is so dad gum good its on its way to a bein the most writen branded 3rd generations selfalasparin on that there market." Thats when he done said "aint yall about the only branded selfalasparin on the market? all dem others is generic like an a hole heap cheeper."

I done told that there dokter that we is higher cause Mr. Collard Greens gots to have money ta pay fer this here company of his thats a sinkin fastter than the titanic. Thats what we kountry folk kall bein persauvive like.

That ole dokter did go and ask me somin bout managed kare. I done told him he'll have to ask that ole big boy at that their triangle park. I said you cant miss him hes the one that looks like that pretty mouthed fat boy from that pikture show deliverance.

Ill be a talkin to you soon fellers!!
 












Anonymous said:
Can you not speak english??? Can you not spell??? If you cannot, then stop posting shit!!!!!!!!!
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Whats the matter feller? You gots to a tack me cause yer skared of my sellin skills. Mr. Collard Greens done seen the future and its us commisshun fellers not you ole cerlery paid reps. Am i a speakin sum english you can understand now? I cant wait till me and you are at a meatin together and ill learn you sum sellin skills but good.
 






Anonymous said:
Whats the matter feller? You gots to a tack me cause yer skared of my sellin skills. Mr. Collard Greens done seen the future and its us commisshun fellers not you ole cerlery paid reps. Am i a speakin sum english you can understand now? I cant wait till me and you are at a meatin together and ill learn you sum sellin skills but good.
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You really should get a life. If you spent more time focusing on positive thinking, then maybe you would not be such a loser!

DUMBASS
 






Anonymous said:
You really should get a life. If you spent more time focusing on positive thinking, then maybe you would not be such a loser!

DUMBASS
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Well hole on now ther feller en trien be some more respektful of us here commishen perfeshonals. We the big guns who that Mr. Collard Greens rekins gonna save this here compney. You sho nuff muss be a trite gellous of us new folk. As far is posative thinkin, I rekin you be lissening to that there reverand Shooler from Calerfornia who always were talkin bout the power of posative thinkin. You rite tho. Yall folks need to be more posative about this hear Cornstoner compney en that there specroserif. I done plan to git me a sitashen from the FDA fer bein cre ative sailsman.
 






Anonymous said:
Well hole on now ther feller en trien be some more respektful of us here commishen perfeshonals. We the big guns who that Mr. Collard Greens rekins gonna save this here compney. You sho nuff muss be a trite gellous of us new folk. As far is posative thinkin, I rekin you be lissening to that there reverand Shooler from Calerfornia who always were talkin bout the power of posative thinkin. You rite tho. Yall folks need to be more posative about this hear Cornstoner compney en that there specroserif. I done plan to git me a sitashen from the FDA fer bein cre ative sailsman.
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Hey I work for Auriga labs. Darn we have got some sick post but yours are just hilarius. come over to Auriga for a few days and post some crazy stuff... we need a change of pace!
 






Anonymous said:
Weel tan my hide. That shure are a reel nise sucsess story there feller. Ima thankin we gonna be good colleeges an we kin help oneother now en then with some a good avice. Congratialashuns to ya there skeeter! Wood you like to go a huntin with me in the erly morn afore they start up that there Caroliner trainin each day? I wanna brang me a buck home to paw fer thankgiven. I were thenkin to envite some of them there fansee bosses en git on there good side from the git go. Than polytickin kin go a long way in them there big compneys. Speshelly over yonder reserch triangular. Reelly good poyt you done made bout that there off labal use. I done sed somting simlar to one of them docters jus to day. I done talk bout that specrochef bein a real poetant medasine en he say he were fermilyer with it. He say it kin make a pashent deeficate all over like that there diarrear. En so I say to him, that there specrochef be real real useful ifen you done eat too much cheez en git all binded up en cant pinch a good loafe. Kinda like losens you up. He done laffed, so I giss he done agreeed with what I sayed. One thang I dont unnderrstand, lot of them there docters wanna chang the subgect en talk bout INsurance an formulares en sompin bout 3 teers and some ominysherif gerinetrics from thurd generization. He done lost me with lota them there big words en fast talkin. Happend a few time already. I rekin they gonna covr all that there in that trainin class. Well, I see you round good buddie!
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