Time to reorganize

Anonymous

Guest
AIG, which recently escaped a near-death experience, has a unit involved with property casualty insurance. They probably insure many of Lilly's operations. Last year was a bad year for the P/C unit, Chartis, which employs 40,000 people. So, they demoted the CEO, and put a better performer in place. Now, investors are happy.

John, the investors are waiting.
 






We could be belly up in the space of just a couple of quarters

http://finance.yahoo.com/q/cf?s=LLY

Go ahead, John, throw money at the problem. Plant some more trees. Put up some more childish sculpture. Send some disciplinary problems overseas. Why not teach Indy to read?

Fact is, the company will have to be gutted by 50%.

What a legacy. However I am sure that you have already returned all of those little favors granted while on a maniacal rise to the top. All of the children of your former coworkers. All of their friends. All of their family. Oh what twisted webs we weave.

The patients are waiting. Do you really want a $20 million Australian company to beat you to the cure for Alzheimers? That is the way it looks right now.

-- Lilly retiree.
 






The remaining Lillyputians scurry about like rodents in a maze. Knowing full well that HR's actually short-term global headcount goal is <20,000. Look for PM to manage out people as a mechanism to avoid paying severance/unemployment. If you are fired for lack of performance, well...start popping that zyypyprexxa. The reality is even that headcount figure will be too high, as lawsuits, Govt. price controls, corp. integ. violations mount. Lly will be a PO box to send subpeonas to. JCL will be back in his Appalachian Bündesgarten.
 












We could be belly up in the space of just a couple of quarters

http://finance.yahoo.com/q/cf?s=LLY

Go ahead, John, throw money at the problem. Plant some more trees. Put up some more childish sculpture. Send some disciplinary problems overseas. Why not teach Indy to read?

Fact is, the company will have to be gutted by 50%.

What a legacy. However I am sure that you have already returned all of those little favors granted while on a maniacal rise to the top. All of the children of your former coworkers. All of their friends. All of their family. Oh what twisted webs we weave.

The patients are waiting. Do you really want a $20 million Australian company to beat you to the cure for Alzheimers? That is the way it looks right now.

-- Lilly retiree.

I tire of those who cannot comprehend the genius of my strategic plan to rocket Lilly into the future as the Pharmaceutical company of the decade. It's minions like you that will be left in the dust when I unleash the brilliance of FIPNET. Patents be damned. We don't need no stinking Patents.

$$ JL $$
 






I tire of those who cannot comprehend the genius of my strategic plan to rocket Lilly into the future as the Pharmaceutical company of the decade. It's minions like you that will be left in the dust when I unleash the brilliance of FIPNET. Patents be damned. We don't need no stinking Patents.

$$ JL $$

My inspiration for the FIPNET concept came to me one day while sipping my tropical fruit cocktail one splendid afternoon poolside at the country club. The advanced scientists in the discovery areas had been a big headache for me. The cycle time required for individual tasks was unacceptably slow. Also, individuals have an excessive requirement for actually being recognized for their contributions. We already had plenty of million-dollar-per-year executives who were actually making the decisions that move the process forward.

If only the scientists and their leaders could just follow orders, we could accelerate the whole process. Well, just try and tell these oversized egos to "just follow instructions." We tried every motivational trick in the book (as long as increased pay was not involved). Alas, after several years of fruitless effort, poolside, tropical fruit cocktail in hand, I reached down to my glass and removed the sword-shaped swizzle stick, upon which were pineapple, grapes, strawberry, mango ... it dawned on me.

Like my fruit cocktail, the true value lie in the diversity of fruit. Each piece of fruit came from a geographical distinct region: The pineapple, Hawaii; the grapes, California; the strawberry, Mexico; the Mango, Asia. The sun peeked out from behind hedge in a brilliant flash of orange. That was it... we would source our discovery and development services globally. Like the fruit, each place has a certain fertility and climate for each to thrive. In like manner, all of the services required to build the Next Great Pharmaceutical Empire need not all be located under one roof.

The rest, my Lilly Colleagues, is history. I finished my fruit cocktail and dived in.
 






My inspiration for the FIPNET concept came to me one day while sipping my tropical fruit cocktail one splendid afternoon poolside at the country club. The advanced scientists in the discovery areas had been a big headache for me. The cycle time required for individual tasks was unacceptably slow. Also, individuals have an excessive requirement for actually being recognized for their contributions. We already had plenty of million-dollar-per-year executives who were actually making the decisions that move the process forward.

If only the scientists and their leaders could just follow orders, we could accelerate the whole process. Well, just try and tell these oversized egos to "just follow instructions." We tried every motivational trick in the book (as long as increased pay was not involved). Alas, after several years of fruitless effort, poolside, tropical fruit cocktail in hand, I reached down to my glass and removed the sword-shaped swizzle stick, upon which were pineapple, grapes, strawberry, mango ... it dawned on me.

Like my fruit cocktail, the true value lie in the diversity of fruit. Each piece of fruit came from a geographical distinct region: The pineapple, Hawaii; the grapes, California; the strawberry, Mexico; the Mango, Asia. The sun peeked out from behind hedge in a brilliant flash of orange. That was it... we would source our discovery and development services globally. Like the fruit, each place has a certain fertility and climate for each to thrive. In like manner, all of the services required to build the Next Great Pharmaceutical Empire need not all be located under one roof.

The rest, my Lilly Colleagues, is history. I finished my fruit cocktail and dived in.

Thanks for the enlightenment. You get paid for this?
 






Thanks for the enlightenment. You get paid for this?

Of course I do... many get paid to do much less, like be social coordinator for their group of a dozen. Harmony is very important, and teamwork involves some extra special effort from our 90k/year butterfly. Isn't that normal? How else would we know when it's time to celebrate a birthday over cookies and ice cream? Team work is important enough for this... our six sigma project showed the numbers, as we had cookies and ice cream.
 






Also very important to workplace culture and productivity is bringing in your toddlers to show them mommy and daddy's world. It's important to remember who the patients are.
 






Also very important to workplace culture and productivity is bringing in your toddlers to show them mommy and daddy's world. It's important to remember who the patients are.

I am so tired of seeing LCC looking like a daycare center. If you can't manage your loinspawn, at least keep them from running around the office looking for the "ballpit."