Studies never lie.

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Anonymous said:
Tell that to the next nut that "goes postal."

Clearly many instances of heart attack, stroke, etc., occur weekly at Lilly, and the risk continues to grow daily.
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They actually now have an on-site mortuary next to the coffeeZon and Milto's dry cleaner. It's called Curl-Up&Die FIPNet Funerals. It was suggested on Ask John!
 












Anonymous said:
They actually now have an on-site mortuary next to the coffeeZon and Milto's dry cleaner. It's called Curl-Up&Die FIPNet Funerals. It was suggested on Ask John!
Click to expand...

If you noticed, this year's benefit enrollment allowed you to have a small amount taken out of your paycheck each month for the "deluxe" package. The "deluxe" package runs your photo on the VBB for one day, names one of the meals in the cafeteria in your honor and the company will donate $1000 to the charity of your designation. The super deluxe package (available only to M2 and higher) guarantees that none of your body parts will be resold to colleges or used for medical experimentation.
 






Anonymous said:
If you noticed, this year's benefit enrollment allowed you to have a small amount taken out of your paycheck each month for the "deluxe" package. The "deluxe" package runs your photo on the VBB for one day, names one of the meals in the cafeteria in your honor and the company will donate $1000 to the charity of your designation. The super deluxe package (available only to M2 and higher) guarantees that none of your body parts will be resold to colleges or used for medical experimentation.
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I knew that Lilly Care would NEVER let me down, even when it's time to die so that the company need not compensate myself or next of kin for any survivor benefits. It's a quantum leap of stellar six sigma innovations thanks to .... Lilly Care. After all, we are the ones who made you everything you are. After all, we are the ones who lied and cheated and elected state officials to rescind the tax cuts that ensured your lifelong Lilly Employment. We at Lilly Care gave you Life Long Employment - whether it was...

one year
two years
three glorious years
or EVEN MORE

But now, your usefulness is complete, and we at Lilly Care would like you to sign the ... following documents prior to your GLORIOUS AFTERLIFE .... it was wonderful knowing you, and LILLY CARE WISHES YOU THE BEST IN THE AFTERLIFE .... bye bye now...
 












I am John ¢hris†ian. I come in Peace. Out of my Chief Executive Orifice, innovations and honesty radiate. Like the Fukushima-Daiichi 1-6 on full-tilt FIPNet China Syndrome meltdown. I come bearing SyymbyAxiron™, for the treatment of acute/chronic Radiation Anxiety/Learned Helplessness/ED. We are growing au Japón... I come in Peace. Always.
 












Anonymous said:
I am John ¢hris†ian. I come in Peace. Out of my Chief Executive Orifice, innovations and honesty radiate. Like the Fukushima-Daiichi 1-6 on full-tilt FIPNet China Syndrome meltdown. I come bearing SyymbyAxiron™, for the treatment of acute/chronic Radiation Anxiety/Learned Helplessness/ED. We are growing au Japón... I come in Peace. Always.
Click to expand...

I can demonstrate the efficacy of such drugs, as evidenced by the one eyed snake that juts upward through my torso and appears right in from of my face as I gesticulate and obfuscate elaborate articulation.
 






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