Panic at Quest--UHC

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Labcorp business is going somewhere! I left them last week and you will NEVER find a bigger bunch of losers and backstabbers than this regional management team. They talk about the patient first scenario to the customer but would cheat them out of a dime or push an unnecessary test in a heartbeat! My RMBD talked about increasing revenue for eight hours straight and NEVER mentioned patient care! “It’s gotta come from somewhere so go out and make it happen!” The Ponzi scheme of healthcare!
 






Listen to this 40 year old tushy whisperer above me. This is a Fortune 500 publicly traded company. Son, if you are not in the healthcare industry to make money then get the fuck out we don’t want you and as a matter of fact not one single healthcare sales performance driven company will.

Your job description is to bring in accounts and grow your book of business which equals out to revenue and that is how all of sales gets paid and measured on honey boo boo child. Tell your mommy that you got fired because you couldn’t hit your numbers and to get your room ready with a warm glass of milk so you can be tucked in ever so gently like the fart sniffer that you are son.
 






anonymous said:
Labcorp business is going somewhere! I left them last week and you will NEVER find a bigger bunch of losers and backstabbers than this regional management team. They talk about the patient first scenario to the customer but would cheat them out of a dime or push an unnecessary test in a heartbeat! My RMBD talked about increasing revenue for eight hours straight and NEVER mentioned patient care! “It’s gotta come from somewhere so go out and make it happen!” The Ponzi scheme of healthcare!
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Don't know where that business is going, but not much is coming into Quest. Looks like Quest leadership over promised and under delivered.
 






anonymous said:
Listen to this 40 year old tushy whisperer above me. This is a Fortune 500 publicly traded company. Son, if you are not in the healthcare industry to make money then get the fuck out we don’t want you and as a matter of fact not one single healthcare sales performance driven company will.

Your job description is to bring in accounts and grow your book of business which equals out to revenue and that is how all of sales gets paid and measured on honey boo boo child. Tell your mommy that you got fired because you couldn’t hit your numbers and to get your room ready with a warm glass of milk so you can be tucked in ever so gently like the fart sniffer that you are son.
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Given the maturity level, anger and inability to grasp nuance, this was definitely written by an RMBD. Written in the middle of the day because his reps are embarrassed to put him in a client-facing situation. Publicly traded healthcare companies have been very successful with mission-driven selling. It’s no wonder Quest Dx is kicking your butt.
 






Here goes another fart sniffer tushy whisper above me that can’t seem to understand or grasp that he is living in an eternity of shit every single day he gets on a call to explain to his managers why he isn’t grabbing UHC business.

Listen son, how many times a day do all 7 of your managers have to make it clear for you that Labcorp has already took all of your Aetna business and kept the UHC.

You have to look at yourself in the mirror and be honest with your life and realize that it’s already Q2. Time is running out on your 55k a year salary position that I could of just got some burger flipper right by my house to do but he’s already making a killing selling other things that I can’t really mention.

Son, If Quest was any good there should of been accounts leaving in Q3 and Q4 of 2018 to you guys. I’m gonna go DM your mother for that warm glass of milk later tonight and let her know that her son will be coming home very shortly.
 






anonymous said:
Here goes another fart sniffer .
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Oh boy. This is where I stop reading. An RMBD calling someone a fart-sniffer on Cafepharma. This is as good as it gets for this team folks.

Could you imagine this guy in an upper-level discussion with an MCO, large client or single doc practice? I don't think so.

Until the NHL flotsam is finally out, this company will never reach the sector success and reputation of Quest Diagnostics.
 












Son, the only time I would ever bring you into an upper level discussion is when the staff needs a box of munchkins and a fresh box of joe. Don’t forget that warm glass of milk from mommy as well.

Now go update your pipeline before I put you on pip son.
 






Don’t forget that warm glass of milk from mommy as well.
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Glass of warm milk from mommy? Ouch? I’m sure LabCorp is proud of your stingingly clever retorts.

Quest Dx hires professionals with character, gravitas and a 4-year degree for their leadership roles. This RMBD lacks all of this and might not even have the maturity to land a courier job at Quest Dx.
 






Son, I would love to keep going back and forth with you but the matter of fact is that all 7 of your territory managers just called me and said that you aren’t bringing in the UHC work and now I have to put everyone on PIP.

Can you please let me know how I should break the news to mommy now that she needs to go get your BK uni dry cleaned for your new career.
 






anonymous said:
Son, I would love to keep going back and forth with you but the matter of fact is that all 7 of your territory managers just called me and said that you aren’t bringing in the UHC work and now I have to put everyone on PIP.
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That fact that your responses are becoming increasingly incoherent tells me you’re mixing up the labs you’re pretending to work for. Territory Managers? And, are we now working for the same company?

Some robust make-believe world you live in old-timer. You should let some natural light into your mother’s basement. Work on your hygiene. Remove the ankle monitor and go for a walk. Live damn it!

Hope that helps?
 






Son, listen up closely very very closely. It doesn’t matter whether you are a territory manager, sales director, tushy whisperer, fart sniffer executive or that box of joe guy account executive that gets on a call weekly with all 7 of his overpaid managers that are at home picking their stinkers wondering why their budgets are fucked and you can’t bring on one UHC account.

The fact is that everyone is going on PIP. No UHC business, Aetna is gone, and accounts are already coming back to LCA means Q1 and Q2 numbers are gonna be so stinky that your gonna need a cold shower after you flush that turd down the drain to keep the stink from lingering.

So once again please give mommy a call before April 23 and tell her to get that BK uniform dry cleaned and please son, for god sakes please son, do not forget that warm glass of milk

And I just farted.....
 






anonymous said:
Glass of warm milk from mommy? Ouch? I’m sure LabCorp is proud of your stingingly clever retorts.

Quest Dx hires professionals with character, gravitas and a 4-year degree for their leadership roles. This RMBD lacks all of this and might not even have the maturity to land a courier job at Quest Dx.
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These high standards at Quest don't seem to be enabling specimens to come in. Volume all over is down and low below the expected UHC numbers.
 






anonymous said:
Listen to this 40 year old tushy whisperer above me. This is a Fortune 500 publicly traded company. Son, if you are not in the healthcare industry to make money then get the fuck out we don’t want you and as a matter of fact not one single healthcare sales performance driven company will.

Your job description is to bring in accounts and grow your book of business which equals out to revenue and that is how all of sales gets paid and measured on honey boo boo child. Tell your mommy that you got fired because you couldn’t hit your numbers and to get your room ready with a warm glass of milk so you can be tucked in ever so gently like the fart sniffer that you are son.
Click to expand...
 






anonymous said:
Listen to this 40 year old tushy whisperer above me. This is a Fortune 500 publicly traded company. Son, if you are not in the healthcare industry to make money then get the fuck out we don’t want you and as a matter of fact not one single healthcare sales performance driven company will.

Your job description is to bring in accounts and grow your book of business which equals out to revenue and that is how all of sales gets paid and measured on honey boo boo child. Tell your mommy that you got fired because you couldn’t hit your numbers and to get your room ready with a warm glass of milk so you can be tucked in ever so gently like the fart sniffer that you are son.
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The “40 year old” as you mentioned is one of the reasons you have a job. Without them, you would still be in the basement at mom and dad’s and....never mind, you probably still are (as management no doubt). Short on ears and long on mouth! Take a good look at your stock history over the last year SON! The brain dead generation!
 






... And I just farted.....
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The only believable assertion in your juvenile outburst. Your obsessively angry tantrums are not helping your mental and hygienic decline. Clean yourself up gramps. Make amends with your estranged family and friend. You’re so far away from the touch or attention of a female, but porn is an option - probably better than this type of self-pleasure.

Hope that helps?
 






Son, I appreciate the back to back comments but like I said previously we need to cut this short as I am in the middle of writing your PIP and sending a DM to mommy to make sure the BK uni is freshly pressed and ready to go after April 23.

Please for goodness sake son, management is asking for only one UHC account. Can you please bring in one solid decent account so I can try to help and prolong not just your career but all 7 of your managers as the clock is ticking so please excuse me while I go flush.
 






management is asking for only one UHC account. Can you please bring in one solid decent account so I can try to help and prolong not just your career but all 7 of your managers as the clock is ticking so please excuse me while I go flush
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Oh boy, your self-consuming inadequacy continues. Posting in the middle of the day. Pretending to be employed. And, making poop jokes. Old-timer, your life can not sink further than the stinking mass of inabilities that has become you.

Quest Dx held its nose to your catechism of failures: You can only sell on price, you have the temperament of ferret and offensive client-facing skills. Quit blaming a company who is best in its space for your caste in life.
 






Son, I just woke up and checked the numbers. You haven’t brought on one UHC account. I apologize having to do this on such a public forum but I need to let you know that I just submitted your PIP to corporate.

You will be hearing from HR in a couple weeks.

Now excuse me while I have to go pinch one out to the thought of your short career at Quest Diagnostics.
 






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