How many Six Sigma Black Belts does it take to change a light bulb?

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Anonymous said:
Any ideas?
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Black Belts don't change light bulbs, green belts do the work.

However, in the beginning was the Problem at Eli Lilly
And then came the Six Sigma Black Belts.
And the Six Sigma Black Belts were useless employees from many parts of the company but smart enough to know they could keep their jobs and build entire careers doing meaningless things.
So their Plan was without substance.
And darkness was upon the face of the Workers.
And they spoke amongst themselves, saying:
"It is a crock of shit, and it stinketh."
And the workers went unto their Supervisors and said:
"why do we have to go through all of this meaningless work, as It is a crock of shit, and it stinketh ."
And the Supervisors went unto their Managers, saying:
"It is a container of excrement, and it is very strong,
such that none may abide by it."
And the Managers went unto their Directors, saying:
"It is a vessel of fertilizer, and none may abide its strength."
And the Directors spoke amongst themselves, saying to one another:
"It contains that which aids plant growth, and it is very powerful."
And the Vice Presidents went unto the JL, saying unto him:
"This new plan will actively promote the growth and vigor of the
company, with powerful effects."
And JL swallowed his slab of pork, threw back another beer, then looked upon the Plan, and saw that it was good.
And the Plan became Policy.
This is how Shit happens.
 












Create an antibody to the lightbulb, which attaches to the lightbulb and destroys it.

Then send in your six sigma team to put in a new one. Answer, a 6+ billion dollar Imclone purchase, followed by firing 10,000 employees to pay for it. But hey the light bulb got changed.
 








None. That process was eliminated in our last Building Maintenance kaizen. There is an announcement on LillyNet reminding everyone to bring in their clip-on reading lamps.
 








A Kaizen Ideation Leadership Lemming (KILL) Team has decreed the answer is: DECEMBER 11, 2013. All need for light will be rendered moot upon that day. OHH...THE...PAIN....RUN WLLIAM!!!
 












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