Displace Lilliputians

Anonymous

Guest
We have a job for you, can you:

# Reviews routine and modified assay protocol and ensures that a study is conducted according to protocol specifications, SOPs and other procedures/regulations.
# Interprets modified protocols and modifies assay workbooks.
# Generates assay workbooks, performs protocol calculations and performs specific techniques for assay dosing and/or evaluates assay endpoints within primary cost center.
# Independently responsible for performing routine and modified assays.
# Performs and troubleshoots sterile technique, tissue culture procedures and animal handling procedures as applicable to base cost center.
# Assists with assay pricing and assay schedules.
# Assists in development of new procedures.
# Identifies and resolves problems in protocols, SOPs and schedules.
# Uses and troubleshoots laboratory equipment.
# Uses and troubleshoots applicable computer software.
# Recommends modifications in assay methods or procedures.
# Able to adapt techniques to new procedures or particular needs as directed.
# Collects and records applicable hand and computer generated data.
# Works safely with known and unknown hazardous chemicals and maintains safe work environment.
# Performs daily equipment checks.
# Recognizes deviations from expected results and takes appropriate action, including informing supervisor, documenting appropriately, and recommending course of action.
# Writes and interprets SOPs. Considers scientific integrity and operational effectiveness.
# Effectively schedules multiple assignments.
# Trained in laboratory procedures outside of base assay.
# Maintains laboratory records and documentation according to GLPs, SOPs, and Policies and Procedures.
# Reviews data and identifies and resolves potential problems.
# Performs general laboratory support functions such as supply inventory, shipping procedures, or database updates.
# Trains and instructs less experienced staff.
# Work requires some standing and sitting for long periods of time, including working within a laboratory hood and at standing bench top.
# Intricate work with hands.
# As applicable to base cost center, must demonstrate immunlogical tolerance to laboratory animals
 






Actually I am much happier at home watching youtube and editing wikipedia entries on a voluntary basis, not to mention profiting immensely off of the scandalous Fed actions lately - you would have to be an idiot to have any debt after mid-2011.... money for nothing and chicks for free.
 






No way, I have no immunological tolerance for laboratory animals or overpaid executives for that matter, thanks but no thanks!

We have a job for you, can you:

# Reviews routine and modified assay protocol and ensures that a study is conducted according to protocol specifications, SOPs and other procedures/regulations.
# Interprets modified protocols and modifies assay workbooks.
# Generates assay workbooks, performs protocol calculations and performs specific techniques for assay dosing and/or evaluates assay endpoints within primary cost center.
# Independently responsible for performing routine and modified assays.
# Performs and troubleshoots sterile technique, tissue culture procedures and animal handling procedures as applicable to base cost center.
# Assists with assay pricing and assay schedules.
# Assists in development of new procedures.
# Identifies and resolves problems in protocols, SOPs and schedules.
# Uses and troubleshoots laboratory equipment.
# Uses and troubleshoots applicable computer software.
# Recommends modifications in assay methods or procedures.
# Able to adapt techniques to new procedures or particular needs as directed.
# Collects and records applicable hand and computer generated data.
# Works safely with known and unknown hazardous chemicals and maintains safe work environment.
# Performs daily equipment checks.
# Recognizes deviations from expected results and takes appropriate action, including informing supervisor, documenting appropriately, and recommending course of action.
# Writes and interprets SOPs. Considers scientific integrity and operational effectiveness.
# Effectively schedules multiple assignments.
# Trained in laboratory procedures outside of base assay.
# Maintains laboratory records and documentation according to GLPs, SOPs, and Policies and Procedures.
# Reviews data and identifies and resolves potential problems.
# Performs general laboratory support functions such as supply inventory, shipping procedures, or database updates.
# Trains and instructs less experienced staff.
# Work requires some standing and sitting for long periods of time, including working within a laboratory hood and at standing bench top.
# Intricate work with hands.
# As applicable to base cost center, must demonstrate immunlogical tolerance to laboratory animals
 






This is today's menu at the $outh Common$ Cafeteria du FIPNet et échec

We have a job for you, can you:
# Reviews routine and modified assay protocol and ensures that a study is conducted according to protocol specifications, SOPs and other procedures/regulations.
# Interprets modified protocols and modifies assay workbooks.
# Generates assay workbooks, performs protocol calculations and performs specific techniques for assay dosing and/or evaluates assay endpoints within primary cost center.
# Independently responsible for performing routine and modified assays.
# Performs and troubleshoots sterile technique, tissue culture procedures and animal handling procedures as applicable to base cost center.
# Assists with assay pricing and assay schedules.
# Assists in development of new procedures.
# Identifies and resolves problems in protocols, SOPs and schedules.
# Uses and troubleshoots laboratory equipment.
# Uses and troubleshoots applicable computer software.
# Recommends modifications in assay methods or procedures.
# Able to adapt techniques to new procedures or particular needs as directed.
# Collects and records applicable hand and computer generated data.
# Works safely with known and unknown hazardous chemicals and maintains safe work environment.
# Performs daily equipment checks.
# Recognizes deviations from expected results and takes appropriate action, including informing supervisor, documenting appropriately, and recommending course of action.
# Writes and interprets SOPs. Considers scientific integrity and operational effectiveness.
# Effectively schedules multiple assignments.
# Trained in laboratory procedures outside of base assay.
# Maintains laboratory records and documentation according to GLPs, SOPs, and Policies and Procedures.
# Reviews data and identifies and resolves potential problems.
# Performs general laboratory support functions such as supply inventory, shipping procedures, or database updates.
# Trains and instructs less experienced staff.
# Work requires some standing and sitting for long periods of time, including working within a laboratory hood and at standing bench top.
# Intricate work with hands.
# As applicable to base cost center, must demonstrate immunlogical tolerance to laboratory animals