WEEK ONE – I can' t believe that right out of college Aqua has hired me! My
major in Fine Arts and minor in Elizabethan Poetry sure
must have helped. I think the fact that I was the head
cheerleader in college proved my abundance of team
spirit. To be making $55,000 a year at age 23 isn't
too shabby. And I get a ford fusion, too!
WEEK TWO - My bosses (TW, SE, and AD) seem real nice. I
haven't met anyone else out in the field yet. Got a lot of
information to study before training starts. There is
a lot to know about dermatology, I tell you that. It
is so interesting to learn how each mechanism of how
our drug works. I wonder why they even need sales reps
when it is obvious that our antifungal, Xolegel is
the best. The information they have given me to look
at shows how it so superior to the competitors. This
job is going to be a piece of cake! Bet the doctors
are going to love seeing me come their way.
WEEK THREE - Boy, those tests were hard
but I passed all of them. Going to VEGAS for a big
company meeting. This is awesome. A free trip to
a casino. Meeting other reps from around
the country. There are a lot of other pharmaceutical
reps in Texas were cheerleaders. That's weird.
WEEK FOUR - The meetings were inspiring!
There were several of us chanting our AQUA’s name!
The lectures by our national sales director (SE) on our products
just proved I picked the best team to join.
There is no question AQUA possess
the most effective anti fungal available. I
can see myself working for this company forever.
Nothing is going to stop me from climbing their ladder
into a higher administrative level.
WEEK FIVE – My Sales Director (SE) wanted me to shadow another field rep
for a day. The rep seemed a little down when I met him;
however he seemed to perk up once he saw me. I am sure
it is a pick-me-up for him to mentor someone new. He
kept asking me why I would pick this job. Then he
asked if I can handle personal rejection. Of course I
can handle rejection.
I remember when I didn’t get picked for junior prom queen.
I cried for weeks but I eventually got over it and became stronger in the
long run. Most of our day was spent on the
road talking or trying to get into different medical
offices. We only got to meet two doctors. Boy, were
they in a rush.
I don't think the field rep did such a great job.
AQUA products are so good, he needs to get right in those
doctors faces! I can’t wait until it is my turn to sell Xolegel!
WEEK SIX - First day by myself. Met an AQUA advisor, Dr. Smith.
He must be stressed because he cut me off in the
middle of my sentence and walked way. He must have forgotten I
was there because he never came back. Dr. Johnson was
just the opposite. It was great. It seemed he wouldn't
stop talking to me. In fact, he wanted to meet me for
dinner to just talk about my drug. What was really
funny is that he forgot what drug I even had but
promised he would use it no matter what is was? I am
one hell of a salesperson!
MONTH THREE - I am not sure why some
doctors won’t even meet with me. They want some samples
but that is all. Had a lunch with a group of
PAs. They didn't even show up and I spent $200
on lunch for their staff. They weren't even that
thankful either. That was kind of rude.
MONTH FOUR - Still having trouble getting
in to see some doctors. Dr. Ryan told me off and said that Xolegel sucks.
He must be having a bad day because he was
extremely irritable. He said I was too forceful. I sat
in my ford fusion and cried for a half-hour. I know I can do
better at this. I think our Xolegel is the BEST antifungal on the market.
I just need to be more assertive.
MONTH FIVE - Rode with my sales director (SE) who watched
my every move. I was really nervous. Still couldn’t
get in to some offices. What was worse was that my sales director
kept interrupting me like he was making the sale of Xolegel
himself.
Listen, sasquatch, if you want my job you can
have it. When he left I cried in my crappy ford fusion for fifteen
minutes.
MONTH SIX - Had another dinner program for our Aqua advisors.
Only a few showed. The speaker wanted his
money right then and there like I was the one who was
paying him out of my own account. Then the mother
f$%&^r starting talking positively about our
competitors! Whore.
MONTH SEVEN – The upper manager’s wanted
us to have a “birthday party “for Xolegel. It
has been on the market for several years now and they
recommend we use the birthday hats and napkins that
they gave us. It has our Aqua logo and Xolecrap on it.
They said the doctors would love it.
Who the f%&^ are they kidding? As if I am going to get the few doctors
that even give me the time of day to light candles
and wear hats because our lousy " me too " drug is
several years old and selling like sh&*? Do these
idiot upper managers even know what’s going on out in the
real world?
MONTH EIGHT - Dr. Smith, who was so rude
to me, wants to know if I will pay for plane tickets for he and his obese “office manager” wife.
for Maui Derm. I wonder if the phrases “kiss my ass “means anything to him.
Saw Dr. Johnson recently. After the “episode " which occurred at our last dinner, I have purposely stayed away from him. The restraining order still remains. He needs to get a life.
On an interesting note, I came across a cool website called Cafepharma. What is up with all of this “Aqua Delivery System” stuff?
MONTH NINE - Went back to our bullsh&% meeting in Vegas again. Who are they fooling with this AMWAY crap? I can’t believe the b!t@h from Texas won Presiden’t club! Everyone knows her b@@bs they are fake. She won because she slept with her advisors!
This is all cult worship anyway. In fact,
I’d rather drink Kool-Aid laced with cyanide than sell
this piece of sh$& anti fungal drug. We met in small groups and
they tried to teach us new points that would
persuade any doctor to use our sticky gel. Talk about a
circle jerk. Got drunk most nights with the HR director while I was down there.
MONTH TEN - The Sales Director (SE) and VP (TW) are getting on my
case more and more. They wants to know what I am doing
every minute of every day. They want signatures. They
want programs.
What my sales director really wants is my first-born. He is such a
prick and if he interrupts me one more time I am going
to kick him in his balls.
MONTH ELEVEN - Slept with Dr. Johnson.
Fu$# it, I needed the numbers. I am also giving away
stocking stuffers of goodies to any doctor that will
write my loser medication. Whatever it takes to make
bonus. Dr. Flock again tells me he is writing our worthless
drug. What a fu*^%g liar.
We buy the prescription numbers right from the pharmacy so I know what his
numbers actually are and this guy bullsh%ts me right
to my face. I think he wants to sleep with me.
If I get forwarded another “success story” from the guido NE manager I am going to SCREAM!
MONTH TWELVE - Slept with my sales director. What a horrible lay! I
needed to keep him off my case and not put me on a PIP.
One more dinner program and I will put the cyanide in the doctors ‘drinks myself.
Every time I get new marketing material, I throw it
right in the trash. Aqua sucks. I know I hit
all numbers for Xolegel but they changed the threshold at the last
minute and screwed me out of my bonus.
MONTH THIRTEEN - This job sucks. If I see
another pompous physician I will kick him right in
the balls like I did my sales director. I will die before I
ever feed a bunch of overweight and ungrateful staff
workers again. Told my HR director to go screw herself, the lush.
I then told my sales director to go screw himself or
screw Dr. Johnson and leave me the f&^k alone. Threw
my keys to the generic ford at him and walked away
with my pride. Never again will I work for a
pharmaceutical company!
MONTH FIFTEEN - Took a job at Valeant.
They got some new stuff in the pipeline. The money is
even better than Aqua. Called Dr. Johnson
and will meet him Tuesday night for drinks.
major in Fine Arts and minor in Elizabethan Poetry sure
must have helped. I think the fact that I was the head
cheerleader in college proved my abundance of team
spirit. To be making $55,000 a year at age 23 isn't
too shabby. And I get a ford fusion, too!
WEEK TWO - My bosses (TW, SE, and AD) seem real nice. I
haven't met anyone else out in the field yet. Got a lot of
information to study before training starts. There is
a lot to know about dermatology, I tell you that. It
is so interesting to learn how each mechanism of how
our drug works. I wonder why they even need sales reps
when it is obvious that our antifungal, Xolegel is
the best. The information they have given me to look
at shows how it so superior to the competitors. This
job is going to be a piece of cake! Bet the doctors
are going to love seeing me come their way.
WEEK THREE - Boy, those tests were hard
but I passed all of them. Going to VEGAS for a big
company meeting. This is awesome. A free trip to
a casino. Meeting other reps from around
the country. There are a lot of other pharmaceutical
reps in Texas were cheerleaders. That's weird.
WEEK FOUR - The meetings were inspiring!
There were several of us chanting our AQUA’s name!
The lectures by our national sales director (SE) on our products
just proved I picked the best team to join.
There is no question AQUA possess
the most effective anti fungal available. I
can see myself working for this company forever.
Nothing is going to stop me from climbing their ladder
into a higher administrative level.
WEEK FIVE – My Sales Director (SE) wanted me to shadow another field rep
for a day. The rep seemed a little down when I met him;
however he seemed to perk up once he saw me. I am sure
it is a pick-me-up for him to mentor someone new. He
kept asking me why I would pick this job. Then he
asked if I can handle personal rejection. Of course I
can handle rejection.
I remember when I didn’t get picked for junior prom queen.
I cried for weeks but I eventually got over it and became stronger in the
long run. Most of our day was spent on the
road talking or trying to get into different medical
offices. We only got to meet two doctors. Boy, were
they in a rush.
I don't think the field rep did such a great job.
AQUA products are so good, he needs to get right in those
doctors faces! I can’t wait until it is my turn to sell Xolegel!
WEEK SIX - First day by myself. Met an AQUA advisor, Dr. Smith.
He must be stressed because he cut me off in the
middle of my sentence and walked way. He must have forgotten I
was there because he never came back. Dr. Johnson was
just the opposite. It was great. It seemed he wouldn't
stop talking to me. In fact, he wanted to meet me for
dinner to just talk about my drug. What was really
funny is that he forgot what drug I even had but
promised he would use it no matter what is was? I am
one hell of a salesperson!
MONTH THREE - I am not sure why some
doctors won’t even meet with me. They want some samples
but that is all. Had a lunch with a group of
PAs. They didn't even show up and I spent $200
on lunch for their staff. They weren't even that
thankful either. That was kind of rude.
MONTH FOUR - Still having trouble getting
in to see some doctors. Dr. Ryan told me off and said that Xolegel sucks.
He must be having a bad day because he was
extremely irritable. He said I was too forceful. I sat
in my ford fusion and cried for a half-hour. I know I can do
better at this. I think our Xolegel is the BEST antifungal on the market.
I just need to be more assertive.
MONTH FIVE - Rode with my sales director (SE) who watched
my every move. I was really nervous. Still couldn’t
get in to some offices. What was worse was that my sales director
kept interrupting me like he was making the sale of Xolegel
himself.
Listen, sasquatch, if you want my job you can
have it. When he left I cried in my crappy ford fusion for fifteen
minutes.
MONTH SIX - Had another dinner program for our Aqua advisors.
Only a few showed. The speaker wanted his
money right then and there like I was the one who was
paying him out of my own account. Then the mother
f$%&^r starting talking positively about our
competitors! Whore.
MONTH SEVEN – The upper manager’s wanted
us to have a “birthday party “for Xolegel. It
has been on the market for several years now and they
recommend we use the birthday hats and napkins that
they gave us. It has our Aqua logo and Xolecrap on it.
They said the doctors would love it.
Who the f%&^ are they kidding? As if I am going to get the few doctors
that even give me the time of day to light candles
and wear hats because our lousy " me too " drug is
several years old and selling like sh&*? Do these
idiot upper managers even know what’s going on out in the
real world?
MONTH EIGHT - Dr. Smith, who was so rude
to me, wants to know if I will pay for plane tickets for he and his obese “office manager” wife.
for Maui Derm. I wonder if the phrases “kiss my ass “means anything to him.
Saw Dr. Johnson recently. After the “episode " which occurred at our last dinner, I have purposely stayed away from him. The restraining order still remains. He needs to get a life.
On an interesting note, I came across a cool website called Cafepharma. What is up with all of this “Aqua Delivery System” stuff?
MONTH NINE - Went back to our bullsh&% meeting in Vegas again. Who are they fooling with this AMWAY crap? I can’t believe the b!t@h from Texas won Presiden’t club! Everyone knows her b@@bs they are fake. She won because she slept with her advisors!
This is all cult worship anyway. In fact,
I’d rather drink Kool-Aid laced with cyanide than sell
this piece of sh$& anti fungal drug. We met in small groups and
they tried to teach us new points that would
persuade any doctor to use our sticky gel. Talk about a
circle jerk. Got drunk most nights with the HR director while I was down there.
MONTH TEN - The Sales Director (SE) and VP (TW) are getting on my
case more and more. They wants to know what I am doing
every minute of every day. They want signatures. They
want programs.
What my sales director really wants is my first-born. He is such a
prick and if he interrupts me one more time I am going
to kick him in his balls.
MONTH ELEVEN - Slept with Dr. Johnson.
Fu$# it, I needed the numbers. I am also giving away
stocking stuffers of goodies to any doctor that will
write my loser medication. Whatever it takes to make
bonus. Dr. Flock again tells me he is writing our worthless
drug. What a fu*^%g liar.
We buy the prescription numbers right from the pharmacy so I know what his
numbers actually are and this guy bullsh%ts me right
to my face. I think he wants to sleep with me.
If I get forwarded another “success story” from the guido NE manager I am going to SCREAM!
MONTH TWELVE - Slept with my sales director. What a horrible lay! I
needed to keep him off my case and not put me on a PIP.
One more dinner program and I will put the cyanide in the doctors ‘drinks myself.
Every time I get new marketing material, I throw it
right in the trash. Aqua sucks. I know I hit
all numbers for Xolegel but they changed the threshold at the last
minute and screwed me out of my bonus.
MONTH THIRTEEN - This job sucks. If I see
another pompous physician I will kick him right in
the balls like I did my sales director. I will die before I
ever feed a bunch of overweight and ungrateful staff
workers again. Told my HR director to go screw herself, the lush.
I then told my sales director to go screw himself or
screw Dr. Johnson and leave me the f&^k alone. Threw
my keys to the generic ford at him and walked away
with my pride. Never again will I work for a
pharmaceutical company!
MONTH FIFTEEN - Took a job at Valeant.
They got some new stuff in the pipeline. The money is
even better than Aqua. Called Dr. Johnson
and will meet him Tuesday night for drinks.