'Twas the night before Christmas and all thru the house,
Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse.
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,
Devoid of orocam, there was none to share;
The doggies were nestled all snug in their beds,
Remembering a time when they could run without meds;
And, the vets in their scrubs, and I with empty hands in my lap,
had just settled our skirmish over the orocam crap;
When out in the parking lot there arose such a clatter,
I even stopped asking questions to see what was the matter.
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a FedEx truck coming to make all the orocam disappear,
With a nice little driver who said he'd make it quick,
And, I knew in a moment this was a gift from St. Nick.
More rapid than eagles this driver said I wasn't to blame,
And he laughed, and shouted, and said all nsaids were the same;
"now, abbott! now, listen! now, treat your reps right!
you know it isn't their fault that this product didn't take flight!
you acted like this was the product to beat, but really...but really,
selling this is no treat!"
As I drew in my head, and was turning around,
Out came the vets without making a sound.
They were still dressed in scrubs, from their head to their feet,
But now they were crying and telling me they were beat.
Each held one bottle of orocam tight,
Telling me that they couldn't get the owners to spray it just right.
The dogs-how they whined! how they squirmed! how they fought!
They didn't like being sprayed, and their owners were sorry they bought!
They told me they liked me and that I could come back,
but only if I put some other product in my sack.
I spoke not a word, but left with a nod;
and got in my fleet car and said a prayer to my god,
and asked him to please let me have some luck,
finding a new job because this one - it sucks;
I pulled out of the lot, picked up my phone,
and, disobeying all the rules, called a friend to bitch and to moan,
But, I still exclaimed, as I left work for the mall,
"this orocam recall is the best Christmas present of all!"
Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse.
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,
Devoid of orocam, there was none to share;
The doggies were nestled all snug in their beds,
Remembering a time when they could run without meds;
And, the vets in their scrubs, and I with empty hands in my lap,
had just settled our skirmish over the orocam crap;
When out in the parking lot there arose such a clatter,
I even stopped asking questions to see what was the matter.
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a FedEx truck coming to make all the orocam disappear,
With a nice little driver who said he'd make it quick,
And, I knew in a moment this was a gift from St. Nick.
More rapid than eagles this driver said I wasn't to blame,
And he laughed, and shouted, and said all nsaids were the same;
"now, abbott! now, listen! now, treat your reps right!
you know it isn't their fault that this product didn't take flight!
you acted like this was the product to beat, but really...but really,
selling this is no treat!"
As I drew in my head, and was turning around,
Out came the vets without making a sound.
They were still dressed in scrubs, from their head to their feet,
But now they were crying and telling me they were beat.
Each held one bottle of orocam tight,
Telling me that they couldn't get the owners to spray it just right.
The dogs-how they whined! how they squirmed! how they fought!
They didn't like being sprayed, and their owners were sorry they bought!
They told me they liked me and that I could come back,
but only if I put some other product in my sack.
I spoke not a word, but left with a nod;
and got in my fleet car and said a prayer to my god,
and asked him to please let me have some luck,
finding a new job because this one - it sucks;
I pulled out of the lot, picked up my phone,
and, disobeying all the rules, called a friend to bitch and to moan,
But, I still exclaimed, as I left work for the mall,
"this orocam recall is the best Christmas present of all!"