1 BILLION DOLLARS! Dear St. Prex

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anonymous

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Dear St. Prex:
I was PROMISED that this company would hit 1Billion dollars.. So what's the hold-up? You guys are such full of crap. Time to roll up my pants.

Can't wait to work for a real company again!

Starting to look,
Your #1 sales rep
 






Sorry we haven't made that billion yet.

You see because of our high turnover rate, we've spent way too much money and time trying to recruit sales people and replace all the people who leave in Parsippany
 












Dear Mr/Mrs/Ms./Miss or It #1 sales person....

Ferring IS a billion dollar organization worldwide you moron. So, let's talk about the US. In the past 10 years we have grown from less than $100 million a year to +$600 million a year...600% growth in 10 years. Mr./Mrs./Ms/Miss/It #1 sales person...look that up versus the rest of the industry and compare that to the big ass pharma company you got laid off from that got you over here. Mr./Mrs./Ms./Miss/It #1 sales person...you obviously produced those hundreds of millions of dollars yourself with your dynamic personality and amazing selling skills. OH NO! If you leave, we will fall back to under $100 million...please don't go!!...Please don't go! Don't do that to us! Oh God have mercy! What will we do without our #1 Mr./Mrs./Ms./Miss/It sales person...may God have mercy on all of us!!!!!
 






Dear Mr/Mrs/Dr:
Maybe you don't understand my point. So let me clarify something for you. How do you think you are able to afford such a nice office, a fancy restaurant, and your nice BMW. That's right I sell the drugs you guys talk about in management meetings! I make the calls to physicians and you guys draw up stupid call plans and dumb ass metrics!

Now, about the $1billion. Maybe you forgot when the goal was to be a $1billion dollar US company! (Nice deflection President, VP, Director, Assoc. Director) Go back to you glass office and be careful not to throw stones at your already depleted and frustrated sales force. Thanks for giving us more ammo not want to work and cut out at 1pm everyday! This is why you don't ever go into the field with us, WE DO NOT WANT YOU F'in up our territories with your stupid ass comments.... \

So President/ VP/Director/ Assoc. Director of whatever - how is the 25% turnover rate hitting your BUC number now! Missed again huh? how many times is in a ROW is that? But then again you ask the SALES FORCE to pick it up and sell more? F U!

Your beloved #1 sales rep! GONE!

P.S. Spend more money on the FOOD and CHEF!
 






Dear Mr/Mrs/Ms./Miss or It #1 sales person....

Actually, I got demoted and no longer have a glass office. I have a cubicle where I sit reviewing the tracker embedded in the I-pad you take around with you all day and watch our sales grow to 1 billion dollars! BTW you lazy fat ass Mr./Mrs./Ms./Miss/It #1 sales person, you already leave at 1pm anyway. At least in my comfortable cubicle, the Ferring police watch and release me everyday after 5pm. I have a scanner as i come and go from the office that tells everyone...hey...I work! Take that doody poo-poo head.

BTW...the restaurant is delicious and yummy. Yum, yum, yum,yum...now go get your subway sandwich from your friend Jared and go back too work.
 






Don't forget not to leave your cubicle one minute early or to come to work one minute late or you will receive a call from the wicked witch of HR

"Comfortable Cubicle"? Are you kidding me? If they were any smaller they would be classier as sardine cans
 
























Let's not forget Mr./Mrs./Miss/Ms./It...#1 sales person here. He/she/it is THE most important person in the company, you know? Singlehandedly this person has driven us to $650 million dollars with his/her.it's amazing skills and ingenuity. Of course, this is after his/her/it's being laid off because even the best get laid off after all. Management doesn't ride with this spectacular individual because they may mess him/her/it's territory up. Fly away lil birdie...fly away into the great unknown. We'll miss you and cry solemnly upon your departure. NAH...you suck and your DM want's you gone anyway doodyhead
 




































anonymous said:
Dear Mr/Mrs/Dr:
Maybe you don't understand my point. So let me clarify something for you. How do you think you are able to afford such a nice office, a fancy restaurant, and your nice BMW. That's right I sell the drugs you guys talk about in management meetings! I make the calls to physicians and you guys draw up stupid call plans and dumb ass metrics!

Now, about the $1billion. Maybe you forgot when the goal was to be a $1billion dollar US company! (Nice deflection President, VP, Director, Assoc. Director) Go back to you glass office and be careful not to throw stones at your already depleted and frustrated sales force. Thanks for giving us more ammo not want to work and cut out at 1pm everyday! This is why you don't ever go into the field with us, WE DO NOT WANT YOU F'in up our territories with your stupid ass comments.... \

So President/ VP/Director/ Assoc. Director of whatever - how is the 25% turnover rate hitting your BUC number now! Missed again huh? how many times is in a ROW is that? But then again you ask the SALES FORCE to pick it up and sell more? F U!

Your beloved #1 sales rep! GONE!

P.S. Spend more money on the FOOD and CHEF!
Click to expand...
Now that AG is CEO will he reallocate budget from food to sales?
 












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