Uncle Everett's Therapy Corner

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anonymous

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Good Morning Boys and Girls,

In 2010, I had no clue the issues you would all face when we sold Everett to the Chemo group. I have been sitting on a far away beach watching the slow destruction of this once, great company.

Today, I have decided to offer free advice to help you navigate the daily stress of working for this evil corporation out of Spain.

Post you questions, and allow Uncle Everett guide you onto a blissful path of peace.
 


Dear Uncle Everett,

My RSM is SO MEAN! This person demands that I make over 10 calls per day. They check my call times and I get an ugly email if I don't make a call before 9 am. What should I do?

Confused in Columbus
 


Greeting Columbus,

Thank you for being the first to post on Uncle Everett's thread. I am concerned for your well being. It seams to me that your RSM is not allowing you to have a work/life balance. It is important for you to take time each day to reflecting on the beauty that is YOU!

I suggest that you focus your time working 10-2 each day. Select a large practice with 6 providers and visit them each day.

In doing so, you will find a peaceful bliss that can only come from within.

Remember, you are representing a far superior PNV. It sells itself.
 


Dear Uncle Everett,

I am a new Dermatology rep and I am scared. I have read many posts on "Call the Mortician, Derm is Dead" that predict how the Derm team will be down sized in the fall.

What should I do? My boss is overly optimistic of our future. He keeps telling me how great Neocera is while glancing at my chest.

What should I do?

Miserable in Milwaukee
 


Well Milwaukee, I have two thoughts today.

Be at peace that Derm is in good hands now that they got rid of FM. Why Spain ever chose this inferior manager, I will never know. Never fear, Spain has a fine replacement coming over.

Trust me when I say that you have a long career ahead of you. Don't worry yourself about the fall.

Neocera is GREAT. I had Aunt Everett rub the cream on me last night.

In regards to the glances. Be sure to reach out to your highly trained HR director. NJ will work with you on investigating this manger. You are so LUCKY to have such a great HR director. Know that she is always on your side.

Go in peace and enjoy this MARVELOUS day in MILWAUKEE.
 


Dear Uncle Everett,

Why do we have so many negative people at Exeltis? This is the greatest company in the world. I can't wait to be a WH RSM.

What can we do to improve moral in our company??????

Trainer in Toledo
 


Toledo....I so glad you reached out to your Uncle Everett!

I wish we had more people with you attitude. Exeltis is the GREATEST company in the world. Look at the stats:

-We sell a great PNV
-Derms LOVE and SUPPORT Neosalus
-You have a highly educated HR director
-The RSMs are the best managers when stacked up against other companies
-The training department is always prepared.

We are SO lucky to have you. It won't be long till you get promoted Be sure to encourage your peers not to believe that our company is falling apart. The opposite is true. WE ARE ROLLING IN CASH!!!
 




Dear Uncle,

Me and some other nieces of yours are concerned because creepy male managers act like we are their dog toys to play with - #metoo. What would y’all suggest we do to let them know they should leave us alone?
 


anonymous said:
Dear Uncle,

Me and some other nieces of yours are concerned because creepy male managers act like we are their dog toys to play with - #metoo. What would y’all suggest we do to let them know they should leave us alone?
Click to expand...

Thank you for having such a BRAVE heart to SPEAK OUT! Unfortunately, Uncle Everett has heard numerous stories of creepy WH RSMs. These PREDATORS need to be put in their place.

No longer should you accept that lingering glance at your bust when you wear your favorite low cut dress. You should not accept it when the RSM holds the door for you to only glare at your long legs when you dress in that new skirt.

Here is what you should do:
1) Look yourself in the mirror and tell yourself that " I am pretty, smart and a good sales rep...and Gosh darn it, my customer LIKE me". I suggest saying this 10 times into the mirror each day.

2) Don't change the way you dress. It is your right to wear what make you feel comfortable. It is totally appropriate to wear a sleeveless low cut dress in the summer. It hot out there in Seattle.

3) If this continues with your RSM, be sure to reach out to the highly educated HR director NJ. You are so lucky to have a dedicated, powerful women in that role. What would Exeltis do without her leadership. One call to her and she will go on a crusade for YOU. I bet that RSM will rue the day he looked at your bountiful bussum...Am I right!

#sistersbeforemisters
#yougottafightforyourrighttowearlowcut
#meetoo

Write back any time,

Uncle E
 


anonymous said:
Hey Unk,

Listen....I like Exeltis but I am not making any bonus. My last bonus check was $2,200.

What should I do?
Click to expand...

Thank you for having asking a universal question that I often get asked...Why is my bonus so low?

Well, I am here to address this once and for all. Here are a few tips:

*I think it is important to look at your total package here at Exeltis. At our company, you have the opportunity to experience a peaceful work/life balance. You can not put a price tag on that joy!!!

*You work for a stable company. You will NEVER be laid off. You are too important.

*Look at our awesome benefits. Exeltis' superior 401k plan will take care of you. You can take that to the bank.

*You can buy a lot shoes with $2,200!

*It could have been worse...I checked with our wonderful HR Director. NJ told me that $2200 was on the high side of the bonus payout. YOU SHOULD FEEL PROUD OF YOURSELF. Good for you!

*I also conferenced with the sales op team. They reassured me that the numbers are 100% correct from IMS.

*Lastly, be sure to spend every cent of the $2200. There is alot more where that came from.

Just think of what you can do if you make $2200 each quarter???? That's $8,800 for the year! WOW. As Tony the Tiger would say...Exeltis is G-R-R-R-R-EAT!!!

Write back any time...

Uncle E
 


Uncle Everett,

Is Exeltis the only pharma company in the U.S. who has a HR Director that does not have a college degree? Is this an HR issue? Oh, wise Uncle... please enlighten all of us.
 




You mean to tell me that through hard work, excellence, and specialized training NJ was able to move up from within the company. That’s disgusting. I can’t believe she doesn’t have a worthless liberal arts degree.
 


Uncle E-
I appreciate you and your support. What can you say about the new CEO? Do you think there will be more cuts both in office and sales force? I was reading some of the previous emails and I'm bothered to hear WH RSMs are looking at reps boobs and long legs. Why don't they go to HR? Lastly, the new CEO talked about a lot of things on this past Friday. What are your true thoughts? Do you believe him? Do you think things will change? He talked about getting co-pay cards right and getting our products covered better. I'll await your thoughts oh wise one.
 




Im all for people without degrees being successful but I’m also against people being unethical in their responsibilities. An ethics class or two in college wouldn’t hurt-many people have been victimized due to incompetence. Eventually Spain willl wake up to this and hopefully make it right.
 


Ethical? What you know about ethical? Spreading false rumors is ethical? Oh, that's right, those useless letters after your name, and some certification you can get out of a cereal box, qualifies you to be the judge and jury over all human behavior.
 






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