Put that coffee down!!!

[Anonymous]

Coffee is for closers. You think I'm fucking with you? I ain't fucking with you! You complain that access sucks? You suck! Because only one things counts in this life get them to sign that script on the dotted line!

 

[Anonymous]

What the fuck is wrong with you, you stupid asshole????

 

[Anonymous]

Mitch and Murray sent me from downtown. Which one of you is Shelley? I got a message for you and I am guessing it is you.

 

[Anonymous]

Mitch and Murray sent me from downtown. Which one of you is Shelley? I got a message for you and I am guessing it is you.

What is first prize?

 

[Anonymous]

Coffee is for closers. You think I'm fucking with you? I ain't fucking with you! You complain that access sucks? You suck! Because only one things counts in this life get them to sign that script on the dotted line!

Someone else did a MUCH better post than this. They did the whole speech and tweaked it for pharma.

 

[Anonymous]

Someone else did a MUCH better post than this. They did the whole speech and tweaked it for pharma.

If you dont like it then leave, there's the door

We got at least 10 guys waiting to take your spot.

'Cause the good news is -- you're fired. The bad news is you've got, all you got, just one week to regain your jobs, starting today. Starting with today's calls. Oh, have I got your attention now? Good. 'Cause we're adding a little something to this quaters sales contest. As you all know, first prize is a Golf Trip. Anyone want to see second prize? Second prize's a set of steak knives. Third prize is you're fired. You get the picture? You laughing now? You got leads. AZ paid good money. Get their agreement to sell them! You can't close the leads you're given, you can't close shyt, you ARE shyt! Hit the bricks pal and beat it 'cause you are going out!!!

What's my name? F- YOU, that's my name!! You know why, Mister? 'Cause you drove a Ford to get here tonight, I drove an eighty thousand dollar BMW. That's my name!! And your name is "you're wanting." And you can't play in a man's game. You can't close them. Then go home and tell your wife your troubles. Because only one thing counts in this life! Get them to sign on the line which is dotted! You hear me,you fking maggots?

: A-B-C. A-always, B-be, C-closing. Always be closing! Always be closing!! A-I-D-A. Attention, interest, decision, action. Attention -- do I have your attention? Interest -- are you interested? I know you are because it's F or walk. You close or you hit the bricks! Decision -- have you made your decision for Christ?!! And action. A-I-D-A; get out there!! You got the prospects comin' in; you think they came in to get out of the rain? Guy doesn't walk on the lot unless he wants to buy. Sitting out there waiting to give you their scripts! Are you gonna take it? Are you man enough to take it's

I made $170,000 last year. How much you make? You see, pal, that's who I am. And you're nothing. Nice guy? I don't give a shyt. Good father? F you --go home and play with your kids!! You wanna work here? Close!! You think this is abuse? You think this is abuse, you c-sucker? You can't take this -- how can you take the abuse you get a docs office?! You don't like it -- leave. I can go out there today with the materials you got, and get 80 Rxs today. Today! In eight hours! Can you? Can you? Go and do likewise! A-I-D-A!! Get mad! You sons of bitches! Get mad!! You know what it takes to sell pharnaceutical drugs? It takes brass balls.

Go and do likewise, gents. The scripts are out there, you pick it up,it's yours. You don't--I have no sympathy for you. You wanna go out on those details today and close, close, it's yours. If not you're going to be shining my shoes. Bunch of losers sitting around in a bar. "Oh yeah,I used to be a pharma rep, it's a tough racket."

We got new new leads. These are the new launch drug leads. And to you, they're gold. And you don't get them. Why? Because to give them to you is just throwing them away. They're for closers. I'd wish you good luck but you wouldn't know what to do with it if you got it. And to answer your question, why am I here? I came here because AstraZeneca asked me to, they asked me for a favor. I said, the real favor, follow my advice and fire your fking ass because a loser is a loser.

 

[Anonymous]

If you dont like it then leave, there's the door

We got at least 10 guys waiting to take your spot.

'Cause the good news is -- you're fired. The bad news is you've got, all you got, just one week to regain your jobs, starting today. Starting with today's calls. Oh, have I got your attention now? Good. 'Cause we're adding a little something to this quaters sales contest. As you all know, first prize is a Golf Trip. Anyone want to see second prize? Second prize's a set of steak knives. Third prize is you're fired. You get the picture? You laughing now? You got leads. AZ paid good money. Get their agreement to sell them! You can't close the leads you're given, you can't close shyt, you ARE shyt! Hit the bricks pal and beat it 'cause you are going out!!!

What's my name? F- YOU, that's my name!! You know why, Mister? 'Cause you drove a Ford to get here tonight, I drove an eighty thousand dollar BMW. That's my name!! And your name is "you're wanting." And you can't play in a man's game. You can't close them. Then go home and tell your wife your troubles. Because only one thing counts in this life! Get them to sign on the line which is dotted! You hear me,you fking maggots?

: A-B-C. A-always, B-be, C-closing. Always be closing! Always be closing!! A-I-D-A. Attention, interest, decision, action. Attention -- do I have your attention? Interest -- are you interested? I know you are because it's F or walk. You close or you hit the bricks! Decision -- have you made your decision for Christ?!! And action. A-I-D-A; get out there!! You got the prospects comin' in; you think they came in to get out of the rain? Guy doesn't walk on the lot unless he wants to buy. Sitting out there waiting to give you their scripts! Are you gonna take it? Are you man enough to take it's

I made $170,000 last year. How much you make? You see, pal, that's who I am. And you're nothing. Nice guy? I don't give a shyt. Good father? F you --go home and play with your kids!! You wanna work here? Close!! You think this is abuse? You think this is abuse, you c-sucker? You can't take this -- how can you take the abuse you get a docs office?! You don't like it -- leave. I can go out there today with the materials you got, and get 80 Rxs today. Today! In eight hours! Can you? Can you? Go and do likewise! A-I-D-A!! Get mad! You sons of bitches! Get mad!! You know what it takes to sell pharnaceutical drugs? It takes brass balls.

Go and do likewise, gents. The scripts are out there, you pick it up,it's yours. You don't--I have no sympathy for you. You wanna go out on those details today and close, close, it's yours. If not you're going to be shining my shoes. Bunch of losers sitting around in a bar. "Oh yeah,I used to be a pharma rep, it's a tough racket."

We got new new leads. These are the new launch drug leads. And to you, they're gold. And you don't get them. Why? Because to give them to you is just throwing them away. They're for closers. I'd wish you good luck but you wouldn't know what to do with it if you got it. And to answer your question, why am I here? I came here because AstraZeneca asked me to, they asked me for a favor. I said, the real favor, follow my advice and fire your fking ass because a loser is a loser.

you a funny girl, blister lip

 

[Anonymous]

Coffee is for closers. You think I'm fucking with you? I ain't fucking with you! You complain that access sucks? You suck! Because only one things counts in this life get them to sign that script on the dotted line!

Except for the simple truth that they ain't signing a damn thing. It's lip service to agree to get you the hell outta the office.

 

[Anonymous]

Except for the simple truth that they ain't signing a damn thing. It's lip service to agree to get you the hell outta the office.

The point of the thread is not to talk literally about the job yet to laugh at the parody.

 

[Anonymous]

Coffee is for closers. You think I'm fucking with you? I ain't fucking with you! You complain that access sucks? You suck! Because only one things counts in this life get them to sign that script on the dotted line!

But I like coffee

 

[Anonymous]

Except for the simple truth that they ain't signing a damn thing. It's lip service to agree to get you the hell outta the office.

Agreed. The joke is this is so far from what we do that even as parody it fails. Should be more like "go out and order panera. You know how much panera I ordered today? A-b-c!!! Always be catering!!!!"

 

[Anonymous]

Agreed. The joke is this is so far from what we do that even as parody it fails. Should be more like "go out and order panera. You know how much panera I ordered today? A-b-c!!! Always be catering!!!!"

What a pathetic person you are if you read humor and still try to justify it.

Time for you to find a new line of work

 

[Anonymous]

Justify what? Lame post. Are you the same clown going around whining at all of the negative posts?

 

[Anonymous]

If you dont like it then leave, there's the door

We got at least 10 guys waiting to take your spot.

'Cause the good news is -- you're fired. The bad news is you've got, all you got, just one week to regain your jobs, starting today. Starting with today's calls. Oh, have I got your attention now? Good. 'Cause we're adding a little something to this quaters sales contest. As you all know, first prize is a Golf Trip. Anyone want to see second prize? Second prize's a set of steak knives. Third prize is you're fired. You get the picture? You laughing now? You got leads. AZ paid good money. Get their agreement to sell them! You can't close the leads you're given, you can't close shyt, you ARE shyt! Hit the bricks pal and beat it 'cause you are going out!!!

What's my name? F- YOU, that's my name!! You know why, Mister? 'Cause you drove a Ford to get here tonight, I drove an eighty thousand dollar BMW. That's my name!! And your name is "you're wanting." And you can't play in a man's game. You can't close them. Then go home and tell your wife your troubles. Because only one thing counts in this life! Get them to sign on the line which is dotted! You hear me,you fking maggots?

: A-B-C. A-always, B-be, C-closing. Always be closing! Always be closing!! A-I-D-A. Attention, interest, decision, action. Attention -- do I have your attention? Interest -- are you interested? I know you are because it's F or walk. You close or you hit the bricks! Decision -- have you made your decision for Christ?!! And action. A-I-D-A; get out there!! You got the prospects comin' in; you think they came in to get out of the rain? Guy doesn't walk on the lot unless he wants to buy. Sitting out there waiting to give you their scripts! Are you gonna take it? Are you man enough to take it's

I made $170,000 last year. How much you make? You see, pal, that's who I am. And you're nothing. Nice guy? I don't give a shyt. Good father? F you --go home and play with your kids!! You wanna work here? Close!! You think this is abuse? You think this is abuse, you c-sucker? You can't take this -- how can you take the abuse you get a docs office?! You don't like it -- leave. I can go out there today with the materials you got, and get 80 Rxs today. Today! In eight hours! Can you? Can you? Go and do likewise! A-I-D-A!! Get mad! You sons of bitches! Get mad!! You know what it takes to sell pharnaceutical drugs? It takes brass balls.

Go and do likewise, gents. The scripts are out there, you pick it up,it's yours. You don't--I have no sympathy for you. You wanna go out on those details today and close, close, it's yours. If not you're going to be shining my shoes. Bunch of losers sitting around in a bar. "Oh yeah,I used to be a pharma rep, it's a tough racket."

We got new new leads. These are the new launch drug leads. And to you, they're gold. And you don't get them. Why? Because to give them to you is just throwing them away. They're for closers. I'd wish you good luck but you wouldn't know what to do with it if you got it. And to answer your question, why am I here? I came here because AstraZeneca asked me to, they asked me for a favor. I said, the real favor, follow my advice and fire your fking ass because a loser is a loser.

Such a classic. But you have misquoted:

First prize was a Cadillac.

He drove a Hundai

He was told to go home and play with his kids.


Perfect casting with the cocky as hell Alec Baldwin making the speech, but wait a minute. Did anyone hear Alec Baldwin make the same speech to his juvenile child? A little girl?

Can you imagine growing up under that shadow? The guy thinks he is a god. He is not.

The Master and Creator of the Universe is our God, like it or not.

 

[Anonymous]

Justify what? Lame post. Are you the same clown going around whining at all of the negative posts?

Dude, the post is obviously satire ad not meant to be a serious discussion.

Did you not get enough love as a kid? Did your mom stop breast feeding you to soon?

 

[Anonymous]

Such a classic. But you have misquoted:

First prize was a Cadillac.

He drove a Hundai

He was told to go home and play with his kids.


Perfect casting with the cocky as hell Alec Baldwin making the speech, but wait a minute. Did anyone hear Alec Baldwin make the same speech to his juvenile child? A little girl?

Can you imagine growing up under that shadow? The guy thinks he is a god. He is not.

The Master and Creator of the Universe is our God, like it or not.

I believe this was modified for pharma sales. That is why first prize was a golf trip. Also why the car they drove was a Ford and not a Hyundai. I do see where it says to go home and play with his kids, 4th paragraph, 2nd sentence.

How and why did you get off in the weeds about Alec Baldwin, his daughter and God?