You guys is sales are a bunch of schlepps with you silly schemes for turning off your iPad. In R&D in doesn’t take a Ph.D. to game the system. I have had so many half-days and 3 day weekends I’ve lost track. I’ve only used two vacation days of my 4 weeks and I doubt I will use more than one day for the remainder of the year. The salary is decent and the job is rarely challenging. Been part of 3 clinical recommendations and have seen some pretty decent bonus checks and stock grants for my work over the years. Best thing is, most of my days I sit in front of my computer, listen to music and work on my book which I think could be ready in another 4 months. What’s my secret? I don’t actually do most of the experiments that are in my lab notebook. Usually I only need to do the first one, which is kinda fun because you get to see something novel. After that I just need to fudge around the experimental excel file and viola, the next experiment is done, usually with better looking curves. Modify the variables a little, tweak the numbers again and I practically have the whole next day to do nothing but take off for a long lunch. It’s great, my manager never looks at my notebook, let alone my electronic files and he is happy as a clam that the program is moving along. Sometimes though, I report negative made-up results, particularly if I do a study for some other scientists I don’t care much for. I figure they should develop their own expertise because I certainly won’t get any credit other than my name on some presentation with 50 other people. It doesn’t really matter much because once that compound gets tossed over the fence it doesn’t matter to me much what happens and once gone from my plate there is no accountability on my part. Since the failure rate in the clinic is so high anyway there is never much blow back and it usually goes down the tubes for some other reason anyway. So cheers to you at the end of the silly process because it is just as much fun reaming this company at the other end.
