If Merck was a sports team it would be...

Ha!

 

The Los Angeles Clippers. Over priced and under performing.

 

Can you imagine Merck starting a sports team. First, you would have to pay for your own uniform. Then you would have to take sports safety and policy tests. The lawyers wouldn't allow you to do anything. CTL's would tell you how to dribble the ball over and over. Players would have to use sign in sheets for sports equipment. Merck would try to acquire other teams and fuck everything up. You wouldn't get any practice because you would be in meetings and teleconferences all the time. Does this analogy sound familiar?

 

It really does sound familiar.

And if you tried to play aggressively (example, steal 2nd base) you would receive a compliance letter. It's not about playing to win, it's about playing not to lose. When you play not to lose, you lose.

 

A minor league baseball team. Special promotion nights (constantly fire drills changing call decks, bag mix and SIP targets, etc) striving to improve attendance (results) while all it takes is a winning team (innovative/promotable products).

 

The British Bullshitters or Backstabbers.

 

If Merck was a sports team it would have the number one draft pick for poor performance and horrible pipeline.

 

I will continue to draft players who look and speak like me. I don't just draft anyone!

 

CLEVELAND BROWNS

 

Cleveland is a real shit hole, I agree!

 

Merck would be the the Cavaliers {and BMS would be Golden State}

 

This was good! Thanks for the laugh. It's funny because it's true :/

 

Frazier's Flying Fucktards. The EC is the starting squad for MRK's trapeze team.

 

? Briexit? Fish N Chips with Vinegar?

 

"well intentioned leadership"??? Are you F--king kidding? They run this company into the ground, shitcan half of the employees, shutter the corporate HQ and steal millions from the shareholders….and you think they're "well intentioned"? They should be in prison getting ass-f--ked every day.

 

Great laugh. Call Bill Murray to staff the equipment locker and Fletch to give the dribble lessons.

 

Bad News Bears!

 

BMFers

 

The Olympic committee in Rio

 

The Manziel's