cosentyx Patient services liaison position info

How'd ya like Bob saying that we had a couple of problems early in the year but they've all been fixed? Doesn't match my current state of reality. Out of touch much or bald-faced liars? Phoenix is going to be a blast! Everything is awesome

 

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  Some ideas for getting out of Phoenix....

1. The fake tragedy


Skill Level: 4 (must know how to mimic a bad phone reception)

Boss: Hello?

You: *scream* OH MY God….OH…Oh my God! Listen, I can’t come in today, I..you…fire..gotta…….ambulance…to.the….ba….tr…..people….taxidermy…gottag-…bye. *hang up*

*Immediately turn your phone off so if they call back it goes straight to voicemail*

2. The food poisoned
Skill Level: 2
Step 1: Go to the sketchiest sushi place in town and order three rolls of the most raw things they have on the menu.

Step 2: Pray.

3. The inconvenient tire blow
Skill Level: 4
Tools needed: Knife, selfie stick

Step 1: Get ready for work as if it’s a normal day. about 7 to 10 miles away pull over, get out your car and slash your own tire.

Step 2: Call your boss and tell them you won’t make it because your tire blew.

Step 3: If they don’t believe you take a picture of yourself making a sad face next to your blown tire with your selfie stick and text it to them.

4. The pet emergency
Skill Level: 10
Step 1: Buy a dog.

Step 2: Throw it off your balcony.

4. The child emergency
Skill Level: 10
Step 1: Adopt a child.

Step 2: Throw if off your balcony.

5. The over explanation
Skill level: 8
Risk: Possible loss of job.


Boss: Hello?

You: Listen, I can’t make it today.

Boss: why?

You: Listen, because I just can’t make it, okay? I literally can’t MAKE. IT. The make that I need in order to come to work just isn’t there. I mean, it’s just not there. I have everything I need but the make that is involved in getting to the it. So I just can’t make it.

Boss: …What?

You: Listen, spell make….good, now spell it. See? The make that I need is all the way over there. If I had it, I could make it in, but I can’t. Don’t even get me started on the it that is needed for me to make the make.

*your boss will most likely hang up on you by now*

6: The Rash
Tools needed: Something you’re allergic to, alternative: light battery acid or battery acid zero.

Step 1: Rub whatever will give you a rash all over your face. If you are not allergic to anything, get the light battery acid or battery acid zero and mist it onto your face.

Step 2: Get ready for work then proceed to work.

Step 3: When everyone reacts to your face, act like you have no idea what they’re talking about.
Step 4: Enjoy your day off.

7: The no further questions
Skill level: 1
Choose from the following, or similar:
“I had a chimichanga last night and it’s coming out of both ways.”

“I have to go to the clinic. There are warts down there…and not the good kind”

“I was puking all morning…I KNOW we used a condom. I KNOW we did!” *start sobbing*

“I have to go to the funeral. He warned me this would happen. *start sobbing*”

8: The car crash
Skill Level: 10
Tools needed: Pigs blood

Step 1: Get ready for work like normal

Step 2: As you’re pulling in, make a quick right swoop into the nearest tree.

Step 3: Quickly pour pigs blood all over your body before anyone runs out of the building.

Step 4: Fake pass out.

Step 5: Enjoy your day off.

9: The other person
Skill level: 3
Tools needed: A friend, preferably a gang member, a gun.

Step 1: Have your friend call your work.

Friend: If you want to see *insert your name* again you’ll help him/her get me my money!”

Step 2: Have friend fire a gun shot into the air.

Step 3: Scream as loud as you can.

Step 4: Have your friend hang up immediately and turn the phone off.

step 5: Enjoy your day together.

10: The new job
Skill level: 10

Step 1: Turn your phone off the whole day and start looking for a new job.

 

I'm using number 10 for Phoenix. No call, no show. Just spending the week looking for a job worth having because this one isn't it

 

Nothing fixed. Worse every day. Out of touch AND liars. No gratitude for the people actually doing the work. Would rather do anything than have to look at, or listen to, these sad idiots in Phoenix. Everything is AWFUL!

 

What about the mosquito virus?
Or could someone mail me a fake letter with a suspicious material?
Could someone whip up bad weather?
ANYTHING AT ALL to save us?

 

You don't really need a fake tragedy, having to attend this meeting with these leaders is a genuine tragedy. We should all be able to not attend based on that.

 

Absolutely a tragedy

 

Maybe they'll cancel it. They've got like 35% attending. And 95% of those trying to figure out how to get out of the dang thing.

 

At any other company, you're going to get money for a car and phone, tax-free. Like $1,000/ month and be reimbursed for miles and/or get a gas card. And to add to that , you would make more in bonus every quarter than we just did for an entire year. Yes, you read that correctly, the most recent IC was less than what most make in a single quarter. So basically, you would've gotten FIVE bonus payouts at another company in the same amount of time, for a marginally less base salary and you would would've gotten monthly car/phone money to burn. You would also have goals that you can attain, the kind that are clear, measurable, and within your control.
And I would bet a barrel of cash that the entire LT would not be turned over in a year.

 

And the promoting announcements have commenced. Soon coming to a town near you are some people that will hit a little too close to home.

 

How many PSLs like not having a nurse run your program? Jorie, you're a special brand of unbelievable

 

I was especially fond of her My Way Or The Highway attitude in Phoenix

 

You know it's bad when the managers don't show or go home

 

HUB task of the week: Incomplete SRFs. It doesn't matter that there is an entire intake team dedicated to this job or that sales should educate office staff, just take care of it. You have nothing better to do than everyone else's job, so hop to it!

 

Does anyone work out there? Like ever? Doing anything other than make offices angry?

 

Jorie is a bully. How did she get this job? Wait,I know, she has tons of patient services experience LOL!!!

 

She's doing an amazing job isolating people and forcing them to apply elsewhere. I have heard that many are on the way out and the majority of the others looking to leave
I've heard that they know how awful she is but no other division will have her
Bringing back the 2015 model that tanked will go a long way toward building our business and serving our customers
People will be blown away when they realize that the hub is managing cases and their nurses are educating offices on more than just their drug
This year started poorly but we ain't seen nothing yet
I feel so sorry for the PSLs rn

 

And now you're under investigation. And she wants all interviews to go through her or her people. How does that sit with you?

 

This is about to get ugly

 

Just had my Interview and Boy was it ugly

My counsel said they had never witnessed anything like it in 20 years at the bar in West Virginia!

I tried to tell them that Joe says it was the finest NVS launch that he can remember..and they just simply smirked & sniggered