VP of Bristol Myers Squibb Upsets Sanofi Execs Dateline Plainsboro 12:15 GMT -Associated Reps- VP Teresa Bitetti successfully thwarted a takeover attempt by rival pharmaceutical giant Sanofi-Aventis. The maladroit Wellseley grad puzzled and scared the SA executives as they toured the Plainsboro facility by having everyone in the neuroscience division stick their heads in the sand. As the SA execs came around the corner they were shocked at what they perceived to be asses growing out of the floor. Senior VP of development for SA, Fabrich Monsault La Pierre La Frenchie-douche was quoted as saying this, "Mon dieu! We came around zee corner and zer were asses everywhere. I asked Monsieur Hooper what zis was and ee told us zis was the zee NS division who has tried a new approach wis zer sales. Ee said said rather zan listen to reason, zay have decided to stick zer heads in zee sand." This new approach has drawn much criticism from the sales force. Scathing criticism has reached new levels in the country's midsection. NS STBM Linda Lotsaluv from Lousiville, KY reported this. "Ever since this ridiculous, inept, unqualified excuse for a leader ascended to the position, the morale has rapidly declined to the point that reps are starting to eat their own hands." Huerta Hernandez from Huntington Beach, CA was quoted saying, "I'm not surprised. This woman has been showing her ass ever since that nightmare sales meeting in Orlando. I mean, it's one thing to looks ridiculous in those outfits from the Dune movie, but to actually be that poor of a leader is another thing. I was so frustrated yesterday, I went home and burned ants with a magnifying glass for over an hour" Associated Press tried to reach VP Mark Pavao for a comment regarding the unbelievably demoralizing lack of leadership by Bitetti, but he to had his head stuck in the sand and his ass had no comment. While this drama continues to play out, reps are anxious to know when the leadership of the NS division will pull their heads out of the sand and realize that the division is sliding into a very deep abyss of unreachable call goals, IC plans that Stephen Hawking couldn't figure out, and that annoying greeting, "Hi Folks. It's Teresa." Until then BMS looks continue it's practice of see no evil, hear no evil and let the sales force be miserable.